niccy_v

Try posting chapters one by one? I don't know if you realise but this is 14 pages long :shock: and nobody is actually going to read it in these forums. ...

Oh Ash, this is a wonderful story but the tense is just killing me! It is the thorn in your poisoned roses... no pun intended. It's just wrecking such a ...

Hope this helps - this is totally wonderful You have amazing description! But maybe too much on the house right at the beginning? And what's with all the 'that' words? ...

Sorry this took me so long. I thought you'd wake up tomorrow morning (or at least pop back on here whenever you americans do... whatever the time is over there) ...

HERE YOU GO I could not possibly leave you another night. This isn't much, but hey, you ask and I give! Honestly, I love the rewrite but It's a little ...

Vampires? When are there vampires? Oh yeah, my bad, I haven't done your chapter 3 yet. Wooops. Why don't you, in the future, just add chapter 1 1.2 in another ...

Drylands - Thea Astley Have I said that? Markus Zuzak - The Messenger I love all his work except that boring, slow, formidable book. The first 50 pages had me ...

This will be the only critique I'll do today... simply because I hate seeing 0 replies XD cream coloured envelope Cream envelope will suffice fine - cream coloured is just ...

Nitpicks have been picked up on, so i'll do what I do for people who have pages of reviews already... Beginning It's quite good. I would read on, and it ...

Yay for Christmas story! I think? Breathtaking, laced, white snowflakes, merry, old, fake Santa Clauses, and melodious beats of joyful holiday tunes should have equaled a wonderful holiday extravaganz

12 months earlier... Yeah, ha, cut it. My dad turned around to see me fidgeting with the rod. Dad turned and smirked at my struggles with the rod. With weak ...

Neat title! so close to longing, so uncontrollable. This doesn't really sit right with me. That last comma just seems to keep it going on. I like to read short ...

Okay this is a pretty neat story! A milky glaze hovered above the icy waters That is a good beginning. Very powerful. beaks in, looking for breakfast No comma acres, ...

As requested! Now i am aware this has a LOT of critiques. So mine won't be very ... compex. In fact i think i am going to do what i ...

Here as requested! Sorry it took me sooo long. I have been busy working lol but here we go. I'll just do headings here on basics and the nitpicks are ...