Young Writers Society

Review 2/6 !! (Did I mention how happy it made me to see all these review notifications? xD)

I think you should at least TRY to make Robert explain how it got stolen, because he doesn't even try! Which is sad because I want to see him muddle through the whole explanation. ... There's another downside to this... you have a very interesting hook here, and yet you're kind of losing that interest to go on another adventure before you even really begin ... Make sure you establish the stakes!

Ooh, I didn't even think of that... Yeah, that makes sense! I could see Robert saying something like, "So there are these people called error guardians, and recently, the text has been flying away from their books, and..." and Sunny's just like, (´･ω･`)? and then Robert goes like, "Without the error descriptions, we don't know what happened, and we can't fix the error, and basically our world breaks." (Although perhaps I'll need to use something more specific than "our world breaks" xD)

So like, I don't really like spelling out phonetic languages out like this if the person doesn't understand the language, just because, realistically, if someone comes at you with a completely different language that you just don't understand any of it, it's just going to be a wall of sound.

Right, right... I got so caught up in making a secret code/language that I didn't stop to think of how the readers would see it. xD I feel like I've been struggling with translating in general, actually. I don't want it to be that Sunny can just automatically understand everything, because that seems... too convenient, lol. But I don't want it to be such a problem that it gets in the way of the plot, either... Anyways. I'll keep thinking. xD

Thanks again!! <3