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one day at a time

  • For years, everyone that has tried to get close to me has tried to break down my walls. I always felt a barrier between me and others. I always felt like I had to truly get to know them before opening up. People have made dents in my walls, and some have come close, but no one has ever truly done a whole lot. I have a lot of emotional barriers, I follow my heart and not my mind, and that makes me not think sometimes. But.. I think I finally found someone. The poem I wrote yesterday was for someone who has taken a big part of my life within the past 2 months already. I feel like with this someone, there is no wall. We trusted each other so easily and didn't know why, but now we do. I feel like we are on the same side of the wall, working together against the world. It makes me happy working together with someone. I am happy to have someone to help me think when I cannot, and being able to help someone with their emotions when they feel like they have none. It is a little hard to explain, but I am just happy to have someone to understand me and work with me. It is a feeling I have never felt before, and it is making me slowly fall in love

  • Okay so you know how all these awful school shootings have been happening in the US? It's honestly tragic. But today, we had an active shooter drill at school. And it's sad we have to switch from rare fire drills, to having to do more common shooting drills to make sure we know what to do in case it happens here.
    That is so depressing. These days, no where is safe. Not even my own private home. Now school? Getting an education is important and it's supposed to be a place of complete safety to get the proper learning skills to prepare for the future. And now we can't even sit in a classroom without worrying whether today may or may not be our last day?? And no one at my school is talking about his except for the teachers! Some of the students take it as a joke. It's SCARY. At the drill today, the room was pitch black (which is one of my fears) and I was so scared that I just put my knees up, hid my head, and tried to think of something else. Although it was just a drill, my heart raced. It's just so depressing and sad that not even our places of education are safe anymore.

    Snoink And today, my husband was locked out of work because of a bomb threat. Like. Why is the world so crazy?!
    Feb 23, 2018

    AlexOfLight My school closed because of a threat to the Harrisburg school district which is in the same area as CASA.
    Feb 23, 2018

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  • a celestial romance

    our hearts unravel—feelings travel
    we soar into the clouds above
    beyond a place we already know of
    into the stars we stand there lost
    trying to find each other in the void
    an unfamiliar galaxy we learn about

    our constellations intertwine to try
    and find the answers to this feeling
    we experience deep inside our souls
    but you hold my hand while we float
    around in confusion—protecting me
    holding me close in the darkness
    let me be your sun and you can be
    my moon so full of beautiful
    mysteries that captivate me to know
    more about you.

    my heart is like the sun flaring with
    love for you and only you
    I hope we can venture through the
    milky way together—hand in hand
    and figure out all the stellar secrets
    to a beautiful romance.

  • one of my best guy friends asked me to prom with roses and a rose beauty and the beast necklace (the prom theme is Tale as Old as Time), it was so sweet! I love roses so much so it made me very happy.

    Other stuffs:

    I have an idea of maybe doing this thing every couple years where I write a long letter to my future children. Ideally, it would be for my future daughter, but there is always a chance I may have a son instead.

    These letters will consist of the things I learn throughout the rest of high school and college and life in general. It will be so one day, whenever they feel down, they can read the letters and the lessons I have for them. I want my future kids to know that I want to understand them, and be there for them.

    I am kinda excited to be a mom one day, the fact I do not really have a mother of my own inspires me to be the best mom in the world. I want to give them the amazing things in life I never had.

    This may be a stupid thing but, I want to try it.

    KaiTheGreater That sounds really awesome, and sweet. :) I can sympathize with wanting to be a good parent because you know what it's like to not have one. But I also know most people don't anticipate the amount of work and level of stress involved in raising kids, and those who don't have memories of a good example to draw strength from often tend to feel helpless. I think that's one more area where our relationship with God as our Father become so important. Just something to think about!
    Feb 22, 2018

    IzzyIsHappy This sounds awesome!
    Feb 22, 2018

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  • I got a 21 on the ACT on my first try! I am soooo happy omg

    English - 19
    Math - 22
    Reading - 22
    Science - 19

    Mageheart Congratulations! I'm not sure what the point system is for that, but it sounds like a good number.
    Feb 21, 2018

    Rosella the maximum number is a 36, which is the best score. We take this test and use the scores to get into different colleges
    Feb 21, 2018

  • I need a hug. A real hug. A tight, loving embrace. And for someone to tell me that everything is okay

    soundofmind *hugs* it's okay, man (though I know this ain't a real hug, but, it's all I can do)
    Feb 20, 2018

    SnowGhost *hugs through screen* I promise everything will be okay, life tends to throw you an occasional speed bump but you can get through them :)
    Feb 20, 2018

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  • Being a hopeless romantic can be difficult in some situations, especially since I am super sensitive and my emotions tend to get the best of me. I have so many dreams of my future and life, like my future house and family, and the things I want to do. And falling for someone who has 0 dreams about any of that stuff and isn't super romantic can really suck. I feel like I dream too much or I am too much of a hopeless romantic. Is it wrong for me to be interested in someone who is the opposite of me in that regard? I dunno

    postmalone read my mind, mindreader
    Feb 20, 2018

  • casual D.Va drawing because she is my main in overwatch and I love a meme girl.

    Nerf this!


    dalisay i love your style wtf. how does one style?
    Feb 20, 2018

    Rosella i love how your drawings are different every time! it adds a nice flare and makes you very unique and open to new things! I've just evolved my style a wholeeeee lot over time XD
    Feb 20, 2018

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  • Depression is a mental illness
    You cannot be depressed for 1 day
    No, that's called sadness, or sorrow, or sulking, or wallowing.

    Snazzy How do you know when it is a state and not just an emotion? Like, if you're sorrowful for a long time, but it's set off by periods of happiness or at least non-sadness - is that still sadness, or depression? I really hope this doesn't come across as sarcastic or rude; I'm genuinely curious and want to know. :)

    Question aside, PrEaCh! This is a huge issue and misusing (or overusing) the word depression needs to stop.

    Feb 20, 2018

    Rosella there is a bigggg difference between happiness and joy. being joyful is not being depressed, yet you can still have moments of happiness when you're depressed and moments of sadness when you are joyful. I was depressed for around 4-5 years before things changed and I became a much more joyful person. Lately i have been sad a lot but i know it is not depression because it does not give me the same effect. at least that is what i think or believe.
    Feb 20, 2018

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  • Every night I lie in bed
    The brightest colors fill my head
    A million dreams are keeping me awake
    I think of what the world could be
    A vision of the one I see
    A million dreams is all it's gonna take
    A million dreams for the world we're gonna make

  • After my testimony on Friday in math class, my math teacher invited me to her church (for today). Luckily, there's another girl in my class who also goes to the same church as my math teacher, and said she could take me. So we exchanged numbers and it turns out she literally lives 2 houses down from me! She tagged me along to the church service today and it was great. Her parents were so kind and sweet and they offered to take me whenever! I even ran into my math teacher at church today and she was so excited and happy that I came <3

  • V deserves happiness ♡
    [credit to @/lee-soo-hee on tumblr]


  • just did my first try at the ACT and I think I did pretty well for my first try! the grammar and math were easy for me but i found the science part pretty difficult..

    Mea Yeah, the science part definitely took me by surprise when I went through it. Eventually I figured out the trick was to ignore all the science I didn't understand and just look for what they wanted me to do, which was usually just read a graph or something else simple like that that doesn't require knowing what the heck the experiment is doing.
    Feb 10, 2018

  • SnowGhost
    Feb 9, 2018

    Nice avatar

  • Not only did I read my testimony to my bible class, but I also did for my math class because my math teacher was so proud of me and wanted me to do it after our quiz. I'm so thankful to have the opportunity to spread my voice even if it was just to 20-30 of my peers. I'm so happy my teachers support me and gave me the choice to do this. I really felt like God was constantly tugging at my heart to do this. I've had restless nights just thinking of it. Some of my peers just clapped, but some said I did amazing and that it was so well-written. I'm surprised I didn't cry today, God really gave me the strength and courage to do this and I think Him. I hope I somehow helped someone today, even just a little bit. Some of my friends say it even made them tear up, but in a good way. I'm so happy I decided to do it <3

    soundofmind <3 that's awesome!
    Feb 9, 2018

    alliyah That's wonderful! So happy it went well! :)
    Feb 9, 2018

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Poetry comes alive to me through recitation.
— Natalie Merchant