Young Writers Society

Hi Persy! It's been a very long time since I've reviewed anything, but I will give this my best effort! I really like the first three stanzas of this poem ...

Hi! This is a pretty cool poem. It's quite an original idea, and it makes me wonder where the character has to go after getting off the swing. I think ...

I quite like this. I think the repetition you use in places is very effective, though I think the "ever" at the end sounds a bit out of place. Maybe ...

Haha, awesome! Very satirical, and I can absolutely relate, particularly the part about the less experience you have the more likely you'll retain the position. It's a vicious cycle isn't ...

I think you probably have the emotion to make this into a good poem, but at the moment it seems to fall a bit flat. It doesn't flow very well ...

Hello! This is a lovely song, with lots of emotion, and I really like it. It's a good, original idea, too. Just remember to proofread because in some places you ...

Ooh, I like this! It needs a bit of cleaning up but I think your rhyming for the most part is good and it lends a nice tone to it, ...

I barely even know what Supernatural is but this made me laugh: in no way am I trying to take credit for her original song, because seriously, who would do ...

As others have said, this needs to be broken up into lines, like Sassykat has done above. Though I think if you do that, the line "and lots of lies" ...

I like this. The only nit-pick I have is that I think "wrack" should be "wreck", but then it wouldn't really rhyme. And I think you did a really good ...

Hi! I like this, and I love the idea of someone else's tears on your face as if part of them lives on in you. That's great. But I think ...

I like this. But I think it's just the beginning. I like it so much that I want to know more. Why does she do what she does, who is ...

Hi! This poem definitely has potential but I think there are a few ways you can make it better. Firstly, I think you mean "wander" rather than "wonder" in the ...

Hi! I wasn't sure about the repetition at first but after reading this for a second time, I think it sounds okay. The only repetition I don't like is where ...

I like the emotion you put into this, it's very descriptive and paints a good picture. I think if the lines were a bit shorter it would flow a bit ...