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  • Poetry » Other, General
    Re: A Study of Birds

    Piggy, you've come a long way from someone who never used to like poetry. This was excellent. I wish I could give you more constructive criticism, but that's about all ...

    Jul 27, 2008

  • Other » General, General
    Re: His Mind.

    An intro to where your piece came from is okay, but please don't feel the need to explain it. Let the piece speak for itself. This piece, while it is ...

    Jul 27, 2008

  • Novel / Chapter » General, General
    Re: Your Ex-Lover is Dead (1)

    To be perfectly honest, this didn't hold my attention very well. I think it was the pace and the lack of real exposision. I had no idea what was going ...

    Jul 21, 2008

  • Novel / Chapter » Romantic, General
    Re: Forever Without Love: Chapter One (Edited)

    There are a lot of places where you have a comma and really should have used a period and started a new sentence. Unfortunately, that and one other technical thing ...

    Jul 8, 2008

  • Poetry » Dramatic, General
    Re: what are homosexuals for?

    Deinitely an interesting choice of topics, one that I personally have not seen much of. What does it do to a child if their parents hate homosexuality more than they ...

    Jun 24, 2008

  • Poetry » Lyrical, General
    Re: I hate who i am

    To be perfectly honest, this would work much better as a monologue or a rant than a poem. That way, you would be less confined by structure or format and ...

    Jun 14, 2008

  • Short Story » Fantasy, General
    Re: A Spin On Fairy Tales: My Entry

    The whole jumping from time to time bit was very unclear to me. I was only sure that was what you were doing because of reading the other responses. Non-linear ...

    Jun 13, 2008

  • Poetry » Other, General
    Re: I am not my Country.

    Eimear is right. This piece is absolutely lovely in the way it conveys the message and it reads so smoothly, but it would be so much better and the message ...

    Jun 9, 2008

  • Other » General, General
    Re: Rap Myuzik

    It certainly is ludacris to believe that these things are true, but if you do read it for what it is, it does make an odd kind of sense. Well ...

    Jun 9, 2008

  • Poetry » Other, General
    Re: Dear Mr. Publisher

    I love this poem simply because of the attitude behind it. I'm sure every writer who has seen a bunch of rejection letters can really relate to this. The only ...

    May 21, 2008

  • Poetry » Lyrical, General
    Re: My Poem: Walls

    You've got some nice ideas and images here. I had no trouble understanding what it was about, which is a trap you can easily fall into with poetry. Eimear is ...

    May 21, 2008

  • Novel / Chapter » Fantasy, General
    Re: The Gate of Glendon- Chapters 3 & 4

    What I would really suggest, to expand on the others' comments is to slow down. Don't just get the story told. Take your time to get to know the world ...

    May 18, 2008

  • Novel / Chapter » General, General
    Re: Circus Pirates 9

    Well, Sweeney, he's probably a bit tipsy himself. Anyway, despite the fact that she is a bit drunk, I would have liked to see the relationship develop a bit more ...

    May 12, 2008

  • Lyrics » General, General
    Re: Warning read at your own risk

    I don't think anyone is "dissing" it because it's rap. They are making negative comments about it because they don't like it. Since I don't want to be repetative, I ...

    May 5, 2008

  • Poetry » Lyrical, General
    Re: To Be Joined As One

    Yeah, way too long. I read the first, maybe ten lines and just thought to myself, it's kind of pretty, but when does it end? You have to be really ...

    May 4, 2008

find your aesthetic and flaunt it
— manilla