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  • Short Story » General, General
    Re: Ciel: Something of Fear

    Edits/comments in red. :) There was once a girl named Ciel Courtois who was only distinguishable by the hat that she wore. In fact, I would have forgotten who she ...

    Mon Dec 26, 2011 10:15 am

  • Short Story » Romantic, General
    Re: How To Crash A Wedding

    So, Ty. I know you have a good grasp of flow and adjectives and all that shebang, being who you are, so I'm not going to waste either of our ...

    Mon Oct 31, 2011 2:15 pm

  • Short Story » General, General
    Re: At the End of the Hall

    He's snuggled next to me, alert little eyes closed as he sleeps. If he's asleep, they're not alert right now. It's not really knowledge the reader needs right now. Also, ...

    Thu Oct 27, 2011 11:31 am

  • Novel / Chapter » Fantasy, General
    Re: Whispers of Jezabelle

    Gryphon has done a decent line-by-line of this, so I'll go ahead and go for an overall review. I actually have no problem with the whole lights turning off thing, ...

    Thu Oct 27, 2011 8:18 am

  • Short Story » General, General
    Re: Undecided

    The wind howled though my long, dark hair, Not fond of describing people in the first sentence. Comes off quite eager and a bit dull. stirring what I thought had ...

    Thu Oct 27, 2011 5:30 am

  • Novel / Chapter » Science Fiction, General
    Re: Rock Solid - Ch1

    I have to say I'm intrigued by the plot, but I'm sorry to say I'm less than impressed by the writing. oo" First off, this would actually qualify as well-written ...

    Mon Oct 24, 2011 2:57 pm

  • Novel / Chapter » Fantasy, General
    Re: Atlantis - Prologue

    First off, I'm not doing a nitpick because as far as I'm concerned, this is one of the best prologues I've read on YWS! Why? 1. It's not confusing. 2. ...

    Mon Oct 24, 2011 11:11 am

  • Short Story » General, General
    Re: For you, my love

    Horror. >] I am so feeling halloween-y this week. The fingers of the wind were cold and desperate; Personally I find adding "the" improves the flow, but this is iffy. ...

    Mon Oct 24, 2011 1:21 am

  • Short Story » General, General
    Re: Smile of Victory

    *rubs hands together* >] A creepy story? Count me in. That horrible death, which was so pleasurable to my ears at the time of hearing the news, It's really clunky, ...

    Sun Oct 23, 2011 1:42 am

  • Short Story » General, General
    Re: Will You, Won't You, Watch?

    Hullo, Maddy! I'll be your reviewer for the time being. Let's begin, shall we? :) I knelt down on all fours, and was greeted with th e sharp, acid tang ...

    Sat Oct 22, 2011 1:54 am

  • Short Story » General, General
    Re: nothing

    Hey there Scratch! Given I've been reading King's Nightmares and Dreamscapes + rereading Nabokov's Lolita, I've a little taste for darker fiction these days. >] Guess you could say I'm ...

    Fri Oct 21, 2011 6:24 am

  • Short Story » Fantasy, General
    Re: Straw into Gold

    A fairytale rewrite! *throws Pokeball* (>> Sorry. I think the heat's getting to me.) Anyway, on to the review. :) Comments will be in red, awkward sections in green, and ...

    Fri Oct 14, 2011 6:58 am

  • Short Story » General, General
    Re: Lifeless Friends(continued) Part 1

    Okay, I liked the first one, so naturally, I clicked this one with some apprehension. I'm not big on sequels mostly because the sequels tend to kill my impression of ...

    Fri Oct 14, 2011 12:57 am

  • Short Story » Science Fiction, General
    Re: Porsches

    I'm supposed to be studying, but I took the time to sneak out and review. ;D So Perse, let's get started, yes? They were doomsday. This sentence is weird, but ...

    Sun Sep 25, 2011 1:56 am

  • Novel / Chapter » Science Fiction, General
    Re: Numbers - Prologue

    Hey Kyou! I'm here to offer up a few points, but I'll skip the line by line review because honestly, I've no time for it right now. First up, you ...

    Sat Sep 24, 2011 11:40 am


Be led by your talent and not by your self-loathing ... everything beautiful in the world is within you.
— Russell Brand