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  • Short Story » General, General
    Re: Run

    Hello. :) Firstly, in the way of nitpicks: I was running from a man whom was my worst nightmare. Should be "who". Who is always the subject, while whom is ...

    Jan 6, 2013

  • Poetry » Romantic, Dramatic
    Re: Seven Word Story

    Hey! Welcome to YWS! Thought I'd have a look at this for you. :) First thing's first - basic grammar and spelling mistakes! Always make sure you proofread/spellcheck your stuff ...

    Jan 3, 2013

  • Poetry » Romantic, General
    Re: His Hand

    Happy new year! I had a real problem with how choppy this poem is - so many commas, so many full stops. I feel like the tone is so unnatural ...

    Jan 1, 2013

  • Novel / Chapter » General, Humor
    Re: The Manor ch2

    Hey, I haven't read chapter 1, but this is in need of reviews so I'll see what I can offer! :) Firstly, grammar: “Ma’am, the carriage is ready for you.” ...

    Jan 1, 2013

  • Poetry » Realistic, General
    Re: Dreams

    Hello! This was quite lovely, actually - it had some simple images but they were very effective. I've for the last two lines in mind here. I think they work ...

    Dec 27, 2012

  • Poetry » Realistic, General
    Re: Almighty dollar

    Hey there. I hate money too. Two important points about this poem: 1) The emotion expressed here - hatred of greed, despair with capital - is a common one, and ...

    Dec 27, 2012

  • Poetry » Dramatic, General
    Re: The Forest

    Hullo there! My name's Mark. :) So I hate deforestation too. But this didn't do much for me as a reader - you began to lose me from about the ...

    Sep 15, 2011

  • Poetry » Lyrical, General
    Re: Mathematics

    Hey fred. Cool name. :P I'm Mark. Let's have a look. introcet weather What weather? And what's a catadog? So that's the only nitpick, but a few minor things - ...

    Sep 15, 2011

  • Poetry » Lyrical, General
    Re: walking on clouds

    Hey there! This is a nice poem, but it could certainly be improved. With a poem, every syllable counts; by virtue of being short, they have to be compact. Every ...

    Sep 13, 2011

  • Short Story » Romantic, General
    Re: Forever, My Love

    You despise it? Why? You must have a reason. :P his tone threatening in every way Delete this. "His voice was low" is enough to draw me in - don't ...

    Sep 12, 2011

  • Short Story » Historical Fiction, General
    Re: The unlikely Martyrdom of Cassie Bernall

    Hey there! Forgive me if I come across as harsh in this review: I promise that I mean only to help you improve! :D Grammar Before I get onto the ...

    Aug 29, 2011

  • I mean this in the nicest possible way, but: before you write a poem about something, it's best that you learn some of the facts about it so that you ...

    Jul 26, 2011

  • Poetry » Lyrical, General
    Re: flowing river

    Hey Gracy - welcome to YWS! Why not go ahead and introduce yourself in the welcome mat ? ;) I enjoyed this, actually! I thought it was a sweet little ...

    Jul 25, 2011

  • Short Story » General, General
    Re: My Walk

    Hey again! I'm not stalking you, I promise. :) From the very beginning I was left a little annoyed by your excessive uses of adjectives and adverbs: Glowing like a ...

    Jul 25, 2011

  • Other » General, General
    Re: Emptiness

    Hey, Kyaira! Welcome to YWS! You should introduce yourself in the welcome mat - we'd love to hear a bit about you. :) I have to say, I had no ...

    Jul 25, 2011

Once you replace negative thoughts with positive ones, you'll start having positive results.
— Willie Nelson