When a Simile isn’t a Metaphor
I was playing with Stumble today and came across a website with funny metaphors from high school essays. I read through them and must admit a few of them are really quite good. Here’s a few of the better ones:
-Her face was a perfect oval, like a circle that had its two sides gently compressed by a Thigh Master.
-She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog makes just before it throws up.
-Her hair glistened in the rain like a nose hair after a sneeze.
-John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met.
Just below all of these quotes is a comment that says “This is our future here people! Be afraid!” Though, personally, I’m more concerned about the person who named this page “Funny Metaphors from high school essays” seeing as how every one of those is a simile.
….This is what we have to look up to here people! Be afraid!
August 15th, 2008 at 9:52 pm
Awesome. xD
I wish a boy would tell ME that my laugh was like a dog before he threw up. *Sighs dramatically*
XXD
~JFW1415
August 16th, 2008 at 10:25 am
Seriously!
Though the hummingbird one is personally my favourite ^_^
August 17th, 2008 at 12:54 pm
Who’s captain of the failboat now?
^_^
-:pirate3:
August 18th, 2008 at 12:47 pm
That must be a popular site, because I found it on StumbleUpon too.
I like the hummingbird one.
August 18th, 2008 at 5:11 pm
My favorites:
6. Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.
9. The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn’t.
22. He was as lame as a duck. Not the metaphorical lame duck, either, but a real duck that was actually lame, maybe from stepping on a land mine or something.
August 26th, 2008 at 6:51 pm
*dies from hysterical laughter* I like Professor Rabbit’s number 22. I need to give this page to my Honors English 11 teacher.
September 4th, 2008 at 5:13 pm
My creative writing teacher read us these. We were in stitches, man.
I think some of these must be purposely bad…
“Long separated by cruel fate, the star-crossed lovers raced across the grassy field toward each other like two freight trains, one having left Cleveland at 6:36 p.m. traveling at 55 mph, the other from Topeka at 4:19 p.m. at a speed of 35 mph.”