Just for laughs:

“This weekend in Virginia, President Bush attended some big event. He got up at one point on the spur of the moment and conducted a 400-piece orchestra. … Apparently, it was the first time a 400-piece orchestra has ever played ‘The Wheels on the Bus.’” –Conan O’Brien

“Former President Bill Clinton was a speaker at the global warming summit. He says that he has been very, very concerned about global warming. As a matter of fact, earlier this week, another chunk of ice fell off his wife” –David Letterman

“Last week, Tony Blair announced that he will step down as U.K. prime minister in June. Seems arbitrary, but that’s the British parliamentary system for you. I guess instead of term limits, you just retire whenever Merlin tells you to.” –Stephen Colbert