Ello. I read romantic stories, regularly actually 'cause I write many. They are easy to write, I guess, because everyone feels it. But no one's knows what it actually is until you have it. That's what I'm getting from your story.
I don't see her sadness, her missing him in the first part of the story. Just knowing that, hey, there's a guy, she doesn't talk to him, whatever. You have to add emphasis to that. Like big. We only know that there's something... well, kind of something when he's dying.
I do believe he would've died oon impact if he flew threw the air. He wouldn't be conscious, or alive to talk to her. Make the crash less drastic if you want that part there.
I didn't feel her emotions at all. Your writing is amazing, great work, but you should be more emotional with your writing. Add some feelings. You can throw in a 'Uh, I miss that guy' Just like that.
This story is great, amazing work. But you need a little fixes here and there. You should read it yourself and you'll see what needs work.
Keep Writing!Tell me when you write more. I want to read more from you!
-Nike
Points: 314
Reviews: 267
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