Cheers! =) Here as asked, so let's get cracking. I've put your poem in the spoiler with my commentaries.
To sum it up, I think your whole problem with prople not understanding you is your abstractness. You don't just make it really abstract, but the wording at times makes it even more difficult, the broken flow and prose-ish feeling doesn't help much either. It's a shame really, this could have been a poem with a clear deep message and leave an impact/impression in others, but the potential/magic is killed there; however, that means there's a way to improve and it's within your grasp - if you try for it. Try reading 'Hollow Lands' from Thomas Stearns Eliot, might give you some ideas =) Get better for sure! It'd be a vain to stop after going this far.
Best regards,
~Kyou
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