Very nice, you made it specific and to the point, so I wasn't wondering what it was about. That is probably one of the tough parts to overcome when it comes to writing poems. I like the topic you chose as well, nicely done, I like it.
Speak out
Our childish innocence is gone
We can see the world around us
Our eyes are no longer shaded from
the world
We will no longer bear the injustice
That the world has shown to have
Not honoring as we ought,
Not caring enough,
Not loving one another,
Round and round the world goes
And few of us bat an eye
We need to stand up
Take a stand for the good in the world
We're not just children
We're people too
And we can see and change our life
Helpless babes, no more
Speak out
Very nice, you made it specific and to the point, so I wasn't wondering what it was about. That is probably one of the tough parts to overcome when it comes to writing poems. I like the topic you chose as well, nicely done, I like it.
* clap clap clap *
Good job! The message was very clear, and I'm sure that it's about that you can't be afraid to speak your thoughts, and stand up for what you think is right.
I think that a part sounds a bit odd, and that's right here:
"Not honoring as we ought,
Not caring enough,
Not loving another,"
Did you mean to put, "not loving one another" or was it meant to be that way?
Anyways, I think it was good. Keep it up!
120,203 Literary Works • 649,072 Reviews
Points: 1302
Reviews: 14
Donate