Young Writers Society

Hi!
~Here to review~
4 months of writers block? Yikes. Glad you got over it. Anyways, this poem's great. I like the theme and the way you presented it.
Relating love to addiction is a good idea, not too cliche I think. Comparing yourself to another element was a good spark too. So, idea was great.
One thing I'm not sure about is the punctuation. You could put a comma where you want the reader to pause when they're reading out loud, or you could put one just where necessary. You've done the latter which I guess is okay. Also you haven't used any full stops which helps the poem flow. It's your choice, really.
The rhyme scheme was good, constant. I wouldn't recommend using the same words to rhyme but you've done it quite nicely. Sometimes the flow breaks and I'll point out where.

You're like an an addiction to me
One I can't get rid of
Even rehab won't cure me
You've seeped deep into my skin

The first paragraph wasn't as good as the rest, but I'll let that pass. What's bugging me is the last line. I expected that to be shorter and relevant to the previous line. The latter part's fine but if you could change the word choice and make it shorter, it would be a great help.
(This was what I was talking about; rhyming 'me' with 'me'. You've pulled it off admirably, though. Me likey.)

The second paragraph was fine but I really liked the third and forth. They flowed quite nicely, rhyme was good and I even liked the comparisons.

It becomes hard to breathe
When you are not around
The wind is gone, I'm choking
Please come back to the ground

This part didn't quite make sense to me. At first you're implying that he's the wind/air and you need him to breathe but then you tell him to come back to the ground which makes me think he's a bird which doesn't make sense, what does bird have to do with wind? Unless you were trying to say you were the bird and needed him to breath which is a quite nice idea, really. A bit more clearer, please?

Without you, I'm alone
Like a moon without it's planet
You are the wand, I'm the witch
I'm never gonna let you vanish

This one was good, too. I just didn't like the use of the word 'gonna'. Considering you've written the rest of the poem in proper English, 'gonna' seems quite a bit of slang to me.

The seventh paragraph was fine.

Yes, I am addicted
And you are my conviction
I've been wounded forever
Your voice is the only medicine

Medicine doesn't seem like the word... I'm sure there's something else, I just can't remember what it is. I'll tell you when I remember.

So hold on tight
Never let go
Stay with me through the fire
Hold on tight
Never let go
You are my only desire

I really liked this paragraph. Bit different after your repetition of 'Yes, I am addicted', but good nevertheless.

Let me stay in your arms
Let me feel the heaven tonight
Don't set me free
Just let me be
With you I'll shine bright

Only thing in this one I think you should do is put a comma between the 'you' and 'I'll' in the last line.

The last two paragraphs were great. I enjoyed reading the poem a lot and keep writing!

-Angel

Hi! Al here for a Quick Critique! Are you high? Well, because your poem is! And it's making me crazy! Clam down, calm down. Okay, now that I'm low again, let me give you a short review.

Concept & Theme:
Yes, you put out a lot here. Four months? Wow . For sharing your experience of overcoming the blocks, you get a point. And for bringing up such an 'issue' as a subject matter, I'll give you more points. Love is a common topic to discuss in poems, druggy love is for lyrics. Who would'e thought someone can make something like this! Beautiful but dark, but this darkness isn't shown in violence or sadness but in compel and longing. Great work!

Technicalities:
Let's see here,

Yes, I am addicted
And you are my cocaine

The wind is gone, I'm choking
Please come back to the ground

Without you, I'm alone
Like a moon without it's planet

I've been wounded forever
Your voice is the only medicine