You're very welcome. And yeah, I know, it's difficult, I can't do that, either. Wow a lot commas in one sentence
Why do I have to finish every sentence with a smiley?
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I hear your voices through the wall at night
Nothing is secret in this house anymore
I hear the yelling and the sobbing
Walls are paper thin and can't protect me
You shook the house like reverberating thunder
I muffled my cries in my pillow
Wounds red and raw in the morning
What made you want to hurt one another?
Hateful glances, muttered vicious words
I want to ignore the truth but it's glaring me in the face
I'm too old now to take refuge behind
Fake smiles and happy lies
My home has become a powder keg
When did you run out of love?
What am I supposed to do
When it all bursts in to flames?
You're very welcome. And yeah, I know, it's difficult, I can't do that, either. Wow a lot commas in one sentence
Why do I have to finish every sentence with a smiley?
I think I get what you're saying, the "show, don't tell" thing. I kind of thought that I'd do that with this poem, maybe because, being a personal issue, I couldn't put it into blunt words.
Thank you for the review, vicious is a cool word =D
This is a good example of the "show, don't tell" factor. It's hard to break, I know, but I think some other people would say it, too. I kind of liked this still, and it wouldn't be bad with some more stanzas.
The last stanza is my favourite! I liked it much and I like the powder keg thing.
And I have to say that vicious in one of my favourite words.
Best wishes from
Demeter
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