z

Young Writers Society



Better Views

by sweetcapris


Tonight I lassoed a shooting star
and up it took me really quite far
it pulled me through the glittering sky
where magic swirls and dreams can fly
where spirits rise and burdens lift
on heaven's breath possibilities drift
then I steered it back home 'cause I knew
I'd rather look up from the ground here with you


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User avatar
134 Reviews


Points: 1086
Reviews: 134

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Sat Apr 26, 2008 10:34 pm
aestar101 says...



I liked this. Don't change a thing.




User avatar
27 Reviews


Points: 890
Reviews: 27

Donate
Sat Apr 26, 2008 5:41 pm



I really like this! The second line didn't flow very well, maybe you could reword it a little? The rest was great! Also it had no puncuation. Other than that this was excellent!
_Sometimes-





The adjective should reinvent the noun.
— Leslie Norris