Hello!
RandomTalks here with a short review!
It’s better with the window open. That way you can hear the echoes of the bangs as they ring through the suddenly empty streets. You can smell the sharp aroma of gun powder as hundreds of fireworks are set off at the same time. With your head stuck out the window, your toes grabbing onto the windowsill, trying to balance, you can almost imagine that you’re somewhere else.
You have really managed to create a rather somber atmosphere with your introduction. At once, the readers can sense that is not an ordinary story - it has something deeper to convey. Despite the fact that the story does not have a definite plot in that strict sense, but its still draws a rather sharp contrast between the horror on the streets and the beauty ecplpding in the night sky. Almost like its telling us how two forces of nature can simultaneously be at work. It really depends on which sight you choose to invest your energy.
It’s a shame that once you are absorbed by the display you begin to think about it properly. How powerful that single firework really is, lighting up the sky, making its colours and shapes rule the inky night. It shows how insignificant you really are.
Again, here the narrator once again draws our attention back to the temperory impotance of human beings. I have realized that it is as underlying theme of the story - the insignifiacnce of human beings in the greater picture of life. The narrator seems to stress upon this fact from time to time and it makes one wonder what exactly happened to make him adopt such a somber view of life in general.
Once or twice, I found myself wondering wjere you were planning to go with this. The story is not really a story, ratger it seems to be an excerpt of the narrator's thoughts in that moment, a portrayal of his mental state. Make sure that you have the end goal in mind. Otherwise the story will keep running in circles.
Also, try to avoid long sentences. I found quite a few of them in the story and often all they end up doing is cluttering the paragraphs.
That's all!
Keep writing and have a great day!
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