z

Young Writers Society



Tiny Bed

by LiNdSeYo7


Let’s fall asleep in a tiny bed
So I can curl up in your sweat
Because every minute we’re apart
Is a bit of living lost
I will curl up in you sweat
And sleep to the beat of your heart
It sounds like a drum.
I pinky promise that I’ll love you
Even when you’re drowning in rum
And a pint of hard times.
I’ll sit and kiss your eyelids
So that you can’t see anything
Other than love and my lips.
I will curl up in your sweat
And sleep to the beat of a drum
It sounds like your heart.
A bit of living’s lost
Every minute we sleep apart
So let’s curl up in a tiny bed.


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105 Reviews


Points: 890
Reviews: 105

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Tue Dec 18, 2007 2:51 am
Rigel wrote a review...



I like the poem. What kind of poem is it? A free verse?

How do you not know that it's free verse? Can you read?

Besides that, I enjoyed it. It was very sweet -- very sweet, and it had this sparkling quality that played between the words as I read. It was a little bland, though. It needs something that jumps out, I think, to move to the next level, but if you meant to write a lovely little piece, you have succeeded.




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57 Reviews


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Tue Dec 18, 2007 12:55 am
LiNdSeYo7 says...



Yes, I would call it a free verse.




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270 Reviews


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Mon Dec 17, 2007 7:01 pm
blacktiger3915 says...



I like the poem. What kind of poem is it? A free verse?





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