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Young Writers Society



Teeny-Wee

by M.B.Author


I wrote this during the summer and just found it. Enjoy!

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When Joe saw the paw, he was very terrified. So he dashed behind the nearest tree and poked his head around to see if the bear was dead or if he had missed it. Suddenly he saw the paw wiggle! Soon a very grieving cry from the bush rushed to his ears. A little furry head with frightened eyes popped up and soon a tiny body wiggled out of the bush. It looked so harmless, thought Joe. Joe looked around to see if its mother was near by. He saw nothing. The petite bundle limped out further into the clearing and cried out once more. Still no mother had appeared. After a couple of minutes, which seemed like hours, Joe took pity and crept out of his hiding place. The miniature bear did not see him, for he was lying down as if he were sleeping. Joe slithered toward the blackberry bush and picked a huge handful of blackberries and stalked up to the wee little bear.

Joe had seen many bears before. He had also seen a few young cubs. But, this bear was the smallest he had ever seen. When he got closer to the bear and it did not wake or move, so he thought it might be dead. Worried, he scurried to its side. Slowly he lifted its head; he quickly dumped the berries into its mouth and waited. The tiny bear silently opened its eyes and quietly chewed. Joe examined the teeny body. The shot had penetrated his left hind leg. Because Joe was not a veterinarian he was not sure if he would survive. Joe gave the cub his water from his canteen. The cub rapidly sucked all the water out of the container. Slowly Joe got up and pulled a trap from his pack. He unwind the rope from the trap and loosely tied it around of the small creature’s neck. Joe tugged lightly on the makeshift collar. Sluggishly the bear got up and started lugging itself toward his new guardian. Progressively they got to Joe’s little cabin. Once returning home Joe scooped up the little bear into his arms and walked through the door. Once inside he gently bandaged its tiny leg. Joe found out his new little friend was a male cub, so with that he called him Teeny-Wee, after his teeny size.

Years passed and Teeny-Wee and Joe became inseparable friends. Teeny-Wee did get better. But he did not get much bigger than on the day he was found Joe and Teeny-Wee spent sad and happy times together. Joe will never forget that day in the woods.


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659 Reviews


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Mon Apr 18, 2022 2:00 am
RandomTalks wrote a review...



Hello!

RandomTalks here with a short review!

This was a rather sweet story. I cannot remember the last time I have read something so simple, written for the sake of enjoyment and storytelling alone.

When Joe saw the paw, he was very terrified. So he dashed behind the nearest tree and poked his head around to see if the bear was dead or if he had missed it.

Our main character has been painted as a rather sweet and adorable child. There is an inherent goodness in him that is very obvious from the very beginning of the story. I loved the way you have captured his innocence - the way he simply dived to save the cub without thinking about the consequences shows how truly good he is. He is kind and friendly and there is this naivity about him that makes him an all the more appealing character.

But he did not get much bigger than on the day he was found Joe and Teeny-Wee spent sad and happy times together. Joe will never forget that day in the woods.

While I appreciate the fact that you got into details while describing how Joe saved the cub, I think you could have shed some light on the development of their friendship as well. After all, that is the central theme of the story, isn' it? The friendship between Joe and the cub. We know that they developed a rather deeper bond, but we never really got to see it for ourselves. I think that is something to think about.

Now,you really need to break this piece into shorter paragraphs. Right now, this is just two big blocks of text. Long paragraphs like these often scare away readers before they even get into the main story. Besides, it also makes it a little difficult to follow the text because of all the cramping of the sentences. You don't want that to be happeing.

Keep writing and have a great day!




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Sun Dec 16, 2007 3:17 am
Firearris wrote a review...



Hi M.B. Author! For one thing, I think you need to split this up into paragraphs, but here are my comments:



Teeny-Wee did get better. But
How about this: Teeny-Wee did get better, but


Those are the only problems that I could find. I also think this story was cute!


Good luck :D



Firearris





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