z

Young Writers Society


12+

The Monster

by VeryBerry


They come in all shapes and sizes

Petrifying, terrifying, frightening creatures

Yet I don’t see a problem

When having the chance to eat it

The ruffle of feathers

And head moves while walking

And the beak, oh the beak

A weapon of mass destruction

The dark yellow eyes

Staring right into my soul

And if I wish for those eyes to disappear

Even being headless makes this zombie more horrific

They look so innocent when young

Pure of heart if you believe

But once an adult

A brute will start to form

I’d rather get a bad haircut

I would even eat rancid food

I’d rather be left in the dark alone

Than be in the presence of that creature

I’d listen to nails on a chalkboard

I’d even stand on top of a huge skyscraper

I would even let snakes slither on top of me

Than hear the cluck cluck cluck of that beast

You could say I can just kick it

Size difference and all

And even if it could hurt me

Why stoop to this monsters level and attack

Call me scared

For thinking this thing is a monster

But in my mind all what I can see

Is a little me petrified of that cruel life form

My first memory of this creature

Seemed simple and pleasant

Yet out of the blue

I still remember those haunting moments

I will still hide for now

To avoid this brutality

And maybe someday I will change my views

But for now I’ll keep my distance

And save myself from that monstrosity

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88 Reviews

Points: 7551
Reviews: 88

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Fri May 17, 2024 4:20 am
Moonlily wrote a review...



Hello hello I hope you dont mind me popping in with a quick review. I wonder what happened to cause this mistrust of chickens whatever it was fuelled quite a poem. I do really enjoy this piece I feel the message comes out very clearly However there is one line I would alter.

"And head moves while walking." I feel this is missing a word, and it could also be a chance to slip in what makes it so scary when their head moves. ( For my example I got rid of the and to cut down on repeating starts. forgive me if it was done on purpose) " How their head moves in jitters ( Or whatever scary thing you want to put here) "

Other than that it seems my other concerns were said in a review before mine. Thus I will leave it at that as to not be a broken letter instead I will wish you luck in your fight against chickens. I feel Goose might also need a poem aboubt being scary one of these days as well.

Keep writing and drink water!




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31 Reviews

Points: 1896
Reviews: 31

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Thu May 16, 2024 9:20 pm
KaeRae88 wrote a review...



Hey, KaeRae here! Just wanted to review your story while I was reading it. First of all, I don't have a fear of chickens, but the way you described them made me suddenly terrified. 😭

The imagery is amazing!! On the part that you wrote,

"I’d rather get a bad haircut

I would even eat rancid food

I’d rather be left in the dark alone
to point out it takes away the dramatic effect instead of using I'd or I would in all of the sentences. Just a personal thought. I totally understand if you meant to write it that way for an effect. It would be a lot of repetition if you just use one instead of both though~

I would even let snakes slither on top of me

Than hear the cluck cluck cluck of that beast
Just a simple correction, it should have commas in between the clucks.

Other than that, I don't really have anything to correct. It was very well written and the way you described your fear was great.

Keep Writing!!! KaeRae ❤️




KaeRae88 says...


Dude I forgot to submit it as a review not a comment. Sorry my bad %uD83E%uDD26%u200D%u2640%uFE0F



User avatar
31 Reviews

Points: 1896
Reviews: 31

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Thu May 16, 2024 9:19 pm
KaeRae88 says...



Chickens are now officially scary ~~





The adjective should reinvent the noun.
— Leslie Norris