I’m sitting here watching the rain
Hit the pavement and slip down the drain
Like all the time I spent trying to make things work with you.
Honestly, hand me the blame.
I lock my feelings in a box
place it high up on a shelf
even my daddy says I never express myself
I wish you the best.
Live a life that’s blessed.
I’ll be here watching the rain hit the pavement
And slip down the drain.
Like all time I will waste trying to make sense of you.
Nice work done by the author.
"Honestly, hand me the blame.
I lock my feelings in a box
place it high up on a shelf
even my daddy says I never express myself
I wish you the best.
Live a life that’s blessed."
The author is really good at expressing his/her feelings and thoughts in words. I love the poem due to its short and to the point format, gaining its readers' interest.
Keep it up.
Waiting for more.
Thank you.
Hello! I'm Ava
I had to write a review for this.
The way I crumbled after reading this piece!
Before I say anything, I LOVED the rhyme scheme, it's perfect.
It's remarkable how you showed the rain to express the melancholy you felt.
The lines,
I lock my feelings in a box
place it high up on a shelf
even my daddy says I never express myself
I wish you the best.
Live a life that’s blessed.
The imagery of locking your feelings in a box tells how you decided to let go of the person you loved and wished your loved one a happy life.
I would also like to highlight that the rain falling in the drain resonated with your feelings which you could never express yourself. Along with the rain falling in the drain is like wasting your time, it almost felt like the falling rain expressed your feelings on your behalf.
Overall, I felt that the rain and emotions of the author resonated each other; I could see the author's loud and hurt mind but calm on the outside. Because of this comparison, I feel that it made this poem delicate, beautiful yet sad at the very same time.
Thank you for this wonderful piece. I hope the author feels okay after expressing feelings through this beautiful poem.
Hope you have a great day!
It's a rainy day in April for me too. The irony made me click on the title as well as the fact that this is featured. Let's get into my review.
What did I love about it? For starters, the full circle moment of repetition from the beginning lines to the end. Secondly, I relate to this ten-fold. It's vague enough that anyone can find some semblance of relatability, yet specific enough that there is a thematic tone. Thirdly, the metaphor of the rain and wasting time. Not only can the aspect of watching the rain go down the drain be categorically wasteful of time, but it can also be peaceful or catatonic, depending on the person and who is judging said use of time. Also, the same can be said for the writer's "you". Additionally, rain going down the drain is also wasteful, especially when that water may be used for replenishing the earth. The "you" that is discussed here could be comparable to this, too. Lastly, the rhyming here is *chef's kiss*. Poems and prose do not necessarily have to have rhythm, rhyme, or a "flow". However, this does each masterfully.
What needs improved? Not a thing! This is *wordery* (words + wizardry). Thank you for sharing such a great piece!
Hi names 22Midnight
hope your doing well, let's get into it!
First Impression to me from the title it might be a poem about how wonderful the rain is and how it can sometimes help you wash away your grief.
I’m sitting here watching the rain
Hit the pavement and slip down the drain
Like all the time I spent trying to make things work with you.
Honestly, hand me the blame.
I lock my feelings in a box
place it high up on a shelf
even my daddy says I never express myself
I wish you the best.
Live a life that’s blessed.
I’ll be here watching the rain hit the pavement
And slip down the drain.
Like all time I will waste trying to make sense of you.
My Interpretation:You are sitting there, depressed, watching the rain. Mourning for your efforts of trying to understand and work with someone. You blame yourself for hiding your feelings in the first place. You wish this person a blessed life, then as you watch the tears of emotion fall and slip down the drain, you are filled with regret and frustration for wasting your time trying to make sense of them in the first place.
My thoughts: This is filled with conflicting emotions I think. You are sad and angry, yet kind of blaming yourself at the same time. I like the rain drain rhymes, they make the poem flow kinda
More: I think it can be more smoother if the rhymes were in a pattern.
120,227 Literary Works • 649,179 Reviews
Points: 731
Reviews: 20
Donate