Young Writers Society

Chapter Two

Mattie

As I walk home, I observe my surroundings to try to get my mind off what just happened. It works for the most part, until I am about two blocks away from my house when I see Miss Katie get out of a car and enter a house. A small, yellow house that had a “Sold” sign in the front lawn. I don’t realize I have stopped walking until Miss Katie came out the door with a dog on a leash. She stops and smiles at me.

“Hi Mattie! I thought that was you walking. Do you live around here?” she asks as if nothing had happened earlier today.

“Uh, yeah. I just live two blocks from here. Well, uh, I got to go. I don’t want to keep my mother waiting,” I say quickly as I run my fingers down my arm nervously. I reposition my backpack and start walking quickly.

“Wait, Mattie. Why don’t I walk you home? I need to take Brady for a walk, anyway,” she says as she skips down the steps with her Black Lab puppy close to her heels. How am I supposed to turn her down without sounding rude? I decide I’d go ahead and let her walk me home.

“Uh, sure…” I say as I stare down at the sidewalk. She comes to my side, her puppy’s tongue hanging out. We start walking and I can sense her looking at me.

“Beautiful neighborhood. Have you lived here your whole life?” she asks, deciding to ignore whatever is on her mind.

“Yeah, mostly. We moved around a bit after my dad died…but ended up back here,” I say quietly. I look at her, and she has that same sorrow in her eyes as she did at orientation.

“I’m sorry to hear that. So, do you just live with your mom now?”

“My mom and my little sister, Eden. She’s four and a half.”

“Very cool. I had two brothers, I always wanted a sister,” she says, casually running her fingers through her hair.

“Yeah… they’re cool, I guess.” I awkwardly stop walking when we reach my front gate.

“Is everything all right, dear?” Miss Katie asks me.

“Yeah, this is my house,” I reply.

“Oh! Well, I’ll see you tomorrow, then. Have a nice night, Mattie.” I watch her walk away, and then I run up the front walk to my house. My mom has already opened the door before I got the chance to, almost as if she has been waiting for me.

“Who was that?” she questions, sounding all serious. I swear she thinks I do drugs, and probably thinks that Miss Katie is my dealer.

“It’s just my art teacher mom. We got a new one this year.” I say with a hint of annoyance in my voice. I enter my house and drop my book bag on the kitchen counter and head for my room.

“Dinner is at six,” mom calls after me. She knows I heard her, even though I don’t answer her. I get to my room and am about to dig through my drawer for an industrial blade when I noticed Eden sitting on my window seat.

“What are you doing in here?” I ask sharply. She turns her blonde haired, gray eyed little head towards me.

“I was watching the birdies. I can’t see no birdies from my room,” she says in her sweet little baby voice. Her voice and her eyes calm me, she looks just like my father. I walk over to the window seat and sit down, pulling her into my lap.

“What did sissy say about going into her room when she’s not home?” I ask. Eden giggles at me. Suddenly, the urge to cut fades.

“Sissy said no Eden in room when gone!” she exclaims. I nod, but then kissed her on the forehead. “But sissy home now, so Eden be in room, okay?” she says. I laugh.

“Of course, Eden. So what birds are you looking at?” We spend about two hours looking at birds, watching them eat out of the feeders in the back yard. Eden is ecstatic when she saw the Humming Bird. She tries to move her arms as fast as the bird’s wings, and is very excited when I told her she was doing it, even though she was nowhere near being as fast.

“Bye bye,” Eden says as she gets up and walks out of my room. She does that a lot, she’ll just get up and leave without any warning. I laugh as I watched her waddle out of my room, leaving me cold and lonely. My smile fades quickly as my mind wanders back to what had happened earlier today. Miss Katie knows. She knows I cut, she knows I’m not happy. And now I’m scared. No one has ever paid enough attention to me that they realize things like that. Unless, of course, the other teachers have filled her in on me. But, I just don’t think that’s something they would tell a new teacher.

“Hey, welcome to Sumpter High. We’re so glad to have you here! Oh, by the way, one of our students, Mattalynne Zenderfield is mentally ill and we have a great fear that she will kill everyone in this school, if she’s still alive after this summer, that is.”

Yeah, I really don’t think they would be telling a new teacher things like that. And yes, they actually do believe that I’m going to kill everyone in the school. I’ve been confronted about it many times, even though I would never do something like that. There is only one person in the world that I would kill. Myself.

I close my door after Eden, and fling myself onto my bed. I can feel my heart picking up its pace, but I can’t figure out why. I decide to close my eyes and rest for a little while. I don’t mean to fall asleep.

“GET OUT!” I scream at the top of my lungs. Tears stream down my face, blurring my vision. But that doesn’t stop me from seeing the pain in my mom’s eyes.

“Mattie, I just want to talk to you about what happened today,” she says, her voice cracking.

“I don’t want to talk to you. Your voice is making my ears bleed, woman! Get. Out!”

“Mattalynne Rose…” she says, trying to sound strong.

“Don’t you dare ‘Mattalynne Rose’ me. I reacted the way I felt I needed to. Those bitches were torturing me, I had a right to punch each one of them in the face, and then you come and try to be Super Mom and break it all up. You’re ruining my life.” I say. She looks at me, then looks down at the floor.

“I’m sorry, I was just trying to protect you.”

“I don’t need protecting!” I scream. I see a tear roll down her cheek before she turns and leaves my room. I fall to the floor and hug my knees to my chest.

“You make mommy cry,” a small voice comes from my doorway.

“GET OUT!” I scream for a final time. I watch my little sister cry out in emotional pain, and shock. She runs out of my room, surely to the arms of my mother. I get up, slam the door, and then resume my position on the floor. As I sit there, I cry. I cry until a powerful headache overcomes me. I breathe deeply for a few moments, and then get up and head for my bathroom. I open the cabinet and pull out my bottle of Ibuprofen. I dump two in my hand, and swallow them easily. I am about to put the bottle away, when I notice the warning label. I read it carefully, and then dump around twenty more pills into my hand. I swallow them all one by one.

I awake dripping with sweat. I’m glad I woke up at that point, because I don’t want to relive what happened after that. The hospital wasn’t fun. Stomach pumped, IV’s all day. Constant surveillance. The mental hospital wasn’t any more fun that the normal one. One month of treatment, and I was released. One more month of freedom and then I was forced to start my sophomore year at Sumpter High. I wish my mother hadn’t found me in time. I wish she had just let me die.

I roll over onto my stomach and open my drawer. I take out my industrial blade, push up my sleeve, and start slashing. I cut until all I see was red. I throw my blade back in the drawer and slam it shut. I then go into the bathroom and let the water run over my cuts, burning my skin. I dry my arm and then slap a sterile pad onto my arm and wrap gauze around it to keep it tight.

When I go back into my room, I notice that the clock said six o’clock, so I head out into the kitchen. Eden is already perched on her chair, and her eyes brighten when she sees me. I sit down next to her, and mother sets our plates in front of us and then takes her own seat.

“How was school today, Mattie?” she asks me.

“Fine,” I reply shortly, pushing my food around on my plate. After that, we ate dinner in silence. Even Eden, who never stops talking, is quiet tonight. I eat a few bites, and when my mother gets up to use the restroom, I dump the rest of my food in the trash.

“Me too, please,” Eden begs.

“No. You’re eating,” I say. She frowns at me, knowing she can’t tell mom I threw my food away. I put my plate in the sink, and go back to my room, grabbing my backpack, but leaving the letter from Mr. Terry on the counter. When I get to my room, I pull my sketchbook out of my bag and sit down at my desk. I let my mind do the art, my hand just moves for it. I don’t realize what I am drawing until a soft knock came at my door. I had been drawing Miss Katie. I close my sketchbook quickly and turn around in my chair.

“Come in,” I call. My mom opens the door. She is holding a sheet of paper in her hand.

“You need to read this…” she says quietly. The tone in her voice makes me sense that something is wrong. I take the paper from her and read it.

Dear Miss Zenderfield,

We have made a mistake in your scheduling this year. Since you failed math last year, you are required to double up on math this year. We have taken your sixth hour art class out of your schedule, and replaced it with Geometry. We are sorry for any inconvenience.

Sincerely,

              Mr. Terry