Young Writers Society

Oh wow. I absolutely adore this and I love the message that you're trying to express. You're fearless in your passion for the subject you've written about and that shows in both your word choice and your voice which are both strong.
The format you've chosen for this piece does leave something to be desired. I read this as the poem that I'm assuming it to be but that got difficult around the third sentence because of how the text was formatted. Even if this was a paragraph it's an abnormally large one. I'm not sure if that was a computer glitch or it you meant it that way but I would consider rereading it and maybe using a different format for other projects.
A couple of convention errors as well but I've yet to publish a piece that didn't have a handful of errors so comparatively you're doing pretty good.
After your question marks and exclamation points I've noticed that you put periods. I'm not sure why that would be purposeful so I'm assuming that it isn't please feel free to correct me if I'm wrong but I would check that on this piece.
Also near the beginning you don't put a space between the end of one sentence and the beginning of another but I've had YWS do similar stuff to my writing so that might not be your mistake.
One of your last lines you wrote "Embrace violence!, denounce loves respite!." I kind of understand what you were trying to do but if you're going to put a comma you can't put an exclamation point right in front of it. One of those pesky little rules of grammar, right?
Over all this poem is very good and has a lot of potential to be even better with a couple look overs. Good job.

First off I love the message you are giving. I particularly like when you said your very last two lines:)
"stop fearing the parts that gave you life.And don't peer at them and rain control with your sinisterly shaded light."
I find this line very enlightening, but also gave me the chills. Either way I loved it.
Hoever, I think that if you had typed this in a different format, it would make it easier to read.
sometimes it is a little difficult to read poetry when it is written without format. All together, I thoroughly enjoyed reading this (i read it twice) and hope to see even more of your work soon! Thank you for the poem. Beautiful lesson and interesting message.