Is the road a methopher ? It feels like one. It’s not original but it’s still a good one and it really highlight what your poem is saying. The poem to me I slightly confusing, the repetition in the poem in the poem is not very clear when your using it for example
“When you think you’re back you don’t think of where
Of where or when you came back from or come”
You make the road sound dangerous for everyone but at the end you then at the end you say the road is not for does with an ego. You then talk about a code that I do not understand at all. In a way the confusion is a good thing, it makes you think about the poem for a longer time, you ask yourself what does this poem say to me now. Was the confusion done purposely?
In the sixth line of the poem the rhyme scheme goes awry and then changes again. If your going to rhyme your work play around with different words, maybe use a thesaurus. I feel that the poem is as confusing as it is because you were trying to make it rhyme. The rhyme though suits the poem it gives the poem a more ominous feeling, a stronger feeling of danger to me anyway.
Other than the things I mentioned I think this poem is really good
-wunmi.
Points: 240
Reviews: 21
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