Young Writers Society

Good day there good madam/sir! You have had the misfortune to write a piece just in my genre, so apologies if I seem a little harsh at all.
I'll take it line by line if I may, offering criticism as I go...

"A writer's hand can feel discredited at times,"
I would replace "can feel" with "feels" but it is not particularly important and it's just my impression.
"the mind always seems to take the spotlight away."
change the period for a comma
"It comes up with stories and rhymes,"
Decapitalize "It" and add the conjunction "for"
"while the hand just follows what the writer wants to say."
Place "is" after "hand" and "the scribe for" rather than "follows".
"The writer’s hand lives in the shadow of the mind,"
rather than "in the shadow of" I recommend "overshadowed by".
"never once appreciated for the work its done."
instead "never appreciated for it's endless chore."
"The hand decided to leave the writer behind,"
This line is fine. You might want to change "writer" to "mind" though for internal rhyme.
"“good luck with the writing!” the hand says poking fun."
change to"shouts "Good luck with the writing!" as he leaves through the door.

I suggest this because the last rhyme seems forced.
I apologize if this is a harsh review, and remember most of these things are just my opinions, no need to take them for gospel.
Anyway, hope this helps,
Take That You Fiend!

Just one thing, "good luck with the writing!" should be "Good luck with the writing!" And also, "the hand says poking fun" should be "the hand says, poking fun". This title captured me, though, and you have great potential. Find what works best for you. I'll follow you!

I enjoyed this very much. It was funny but also kind of an insight as to how much the hand helps in the writing process.
I do have to say that I would like to see it be more serious with tiny funny lines in it rather than it be serious and then have that one funny line at the end, but it is not my literature.
I hope to read more from you
Never stop writing.

Hello, rhia here to review!

This is cute! It was sweet and funny, nice to read something light when a lot of the stuff here is so heavy. I do have some technical mistakes to point out, however.

A writer's hand can feel discredited at times,

The writer’s hand lives in the shadow of the mind,

never once appreciated for the work its done.

Hey, Chips here with a review. Welcome to YWS also!

I thought this was a cute poem, the concept you had of the "writer's hand" and the relationship between the had and mind, as oppose to the writer themselves was an interesting idea. The formatting worked well, but I would suggest breaking up the words a bit more so the poem looks less like a paragraph.

"A writer's hand can feel discredited at times,

the mind always seems to take the spotlight away."

I liked this opening, it was giving a statement. The comma works fine but I think perhaps a semicolon after, "times" would have also worked well.

"The writer’s hand lives in the shadow of the mind,

never once appreciated for the work its done."

I liked this part because you began to use imagery. You didn't use very much imagery in your poem as a whole. You needed to show more rather than tell, it would make your poem even more effective. Maybe expand more of the hand hiding behind the shadow and the relationship between the mind and hand more.

"The hand decided to leave the writer behind,

“good luck with the writing!” the hand says poking fun."

This was a cute ending. I would have liked to see more humor included in the poem, as the ending was the only part which incorporated humor into it.

Overall, I enjoyed reading this poem. Hope this review helped. Keep writing!

--Chippy