" I stave off realization;
we are all clinging, stuck like
food to a plastic spoon."
I thought this was a great comparison, and the imagery is great as well. Keep up the good work!
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I stave off the realisation;
we are all clinging, stuck like
food to a plastic spoon.
I pray to the painted
sunset, paper thin veil to hide
the splintered fist-shape
in the wooden door.
It tries, but I can't deny
that it won't keep the darkness
of that day at bay
much longer.
The couch simpers and sloops,
the pot ever simmering,
and on eggshells we always walk.
" I stave off realization;
we are all clinging, stuck like
food to a plastic spoon."
I thought this was a great comparison, and the imagery is great as well. Keep up the good work!
"I pray to the painted
sunset, paper thin veil to hide
the splintered fist-shape
in the wooden door."
What an awesome imagery!
Beautiful. You told us everything without saying it, and with so much finesse. Your use of metaphor is brilliant, and I think I love you. I really like this. I could go on forever.
That effortlessly crafted phrase about the splintered door, the amount of meaning put in to so few words in the last stanza, all of it, is wonderful.
Keep writing. Please
Hey now, rhiasofia! It's Mr. Powers here, with another fun and exciting review! Today, I going to look over your seemingly simple poem, "Homewrecker, Homewrecked".
First thing's first. When I typed the title into this box, my computer claimed that those words were spelled wrong. Apparently, both words should be split up. Nonetheless, I'm not going to let my computer tell you how to write (or spell, for that matter).
That was a really cool simile you used in stanza 1. "stuck like/food to a plastic spoon." It clears up whatever may have confused the reader beforehand.
In stanza 2, you pray that a thin cloth can hide the damage someone's fist did to your door. And even though it does hide the hole itself, it doesn't make you forget what made it get there. In fact, the only thing the veil appears to do is strengthen those memories.
The final stanza is quite puzzling to me. I think it means that while the world is still turning, something bad is bound to happen.
In the end, I think I've uncovered the story behind this work. A home-wrecker is going around with someone who's already married, and he/she feels as though they'll get caught soon. Was I right? How far off am I?
I'm giving this a favorable review, a like, and your efforts have even won you a follow from me. I hope you keep it up!
Points: 296
Reviews: 7
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