Young Writers Society

Fiery Salutations

1.Honesty is overrated – I tell you things always and embarrass myself, always.

2.There is some sense of hope – even though you will never convert me into an optimist, because I don’t believe you’re one yourself, but you should know…the fact you make me smile is the only optimism I need.

3.You tell me you think of me – so I know we are obsessing over each other, equally.

4.The respect you show me as a person – makes me confident; and makes me want to respect you.

5.Tonight, you didn’t fuck up – in fact I may be angry when you do, but I forget it because I only want good memories of you.

6.I don’t think there is anyone else’s t-shirts I would rather soak with tears – because they look so good on you. Also because, you turn them into something constructive.

7.Well, a way I know that I am (unhealthily) obsessed with you is the following: I hate being alone. And, my definition of alone is being without you. Simple.

8.Sometimes, saying “I love you” doesn’t seem enough. I need you doesn’t quite cut it either. In this case, I would stand in front of a city full of people, naked, with your name written across my abdomen. This would express a fraction of my dedication to and adoration for you.

9.A huge responsibility rides on your shoulders – you are my lover, my best friend, my companion, my sanity and most of all, you have chosen to be with me. You’ve no idea how lucky I feel because of that.

10. You are the “one” – because I’m never going to meet someone else as crazy and fucked up as you; whom I could love in the way I am right now; or who could love me back in the way you do now.

This review was brought to you
by Team Rocket.

Hey, Emerald! Notorious team captain here from Team Plasma in the Pokemon-themed RD (hohoh, be very scared!), and here to defeat the 'Other' section in the Elite Eight! Huzzah!

I decided to review this piece because I'm experiencing some similar mushy gushy relationship phases as you. I constantly gush over my boyfriend, so reading this was nothing. x')

I'll start by listing my thoughts with each bullet.

1. Honesty is overrated – I tell you things always and embarrass myself, always.
500% true. If you love someone, you don't keep secrets or feel embarrass to be yourself. For example, it was just today that I finally told my boyfriend that I'm a mod at this writing site, and he totally judged me, but then told me that he is the captain of a "Bear Clan" in a nerdy video game community. There's no permanent judgement or embarrassment; just slight teases and a tousled hair. Honesty is unlimited.

2. There is some sense of hope – even though you will never convert me into an optimist, because I don’t believe you’re one yourself, but you should know…the fact you make me smile is the only optimism I need.
This is so sweet. I'm unable to relate since I'd like to consider myself an optimist, but the fact that your significant other's smile can temporarily convert you to a happy optimist as you smile back and hold on to his smile yourself...well, what more can I say? So adorbs.

3. You tell me you think of me – so I know we are obsessing over each other, equally.
Ahhh, more adorableness. The first initial "honeymoon" stage every couple first goes through always contain the glances and the, "What is she doing now?" thoughts. If you think of him, he's thinking of you.

4. The respect you show me as a person – makes me confident; and makes me want to respect you.
Sorry, this kinda irks me, but it's not grammatically correct. xD Here's the revised version: The respect you show me as a person makes me confident and makes me want to respect you. No punctuation is needed here.
Anyhoots, this is very relatable. Often times society throws insults at you, and to have someone there to hold you and call you beautiful while still holding respect is the best thing ever, and it can seriously be a confidence boost.

5. Tonight, you didn’t fuck up – in fact I may be angry when you do, but I forget it because I only want good memories of you.
I could tell you're a pessimist by the first part of the sentence, since the other way to look at it is "Tonight, you were awesome." But the fact that you'd forget his mistakes and flaws because you only want good memories is very admirable since it is an optimist trait. <3

6. I don’t think there is anyone else’s t-shirts I would rather soak with tears – because they look so good on you. Also because, you turn them into something constructive.
This one actually confused me. Shirt soaked with tears? Looking good? Constructive? I don't completely understand, but perhaps because I don't relate with it.

7. Well, a way I know that I am (unhealthily) obsessed with you is the following: I hate being alone. And, my definition of alone is being without you. Simple.
VERY RELATABLE. Often times I feel like I'm clingy to my boyfriend because I want to be with him 24/7 and get nervous when I'm supposed to meet him somewhere and don't see him. I just need him around, and now that I think about it, it does seem somewhat like an obsession. It's not bad, though. If anything, it would be bad if it was the other way around.

8. Sometimes, saying “I love you” doesn’t seem enough. I need you doesn’t quite cut it either. In this case, I would stand in front of a city full of people, naked, with your name written across my abdomen. This would express a fraction of my dedication to and adoration for you.
I understand. Words can never express how much you love a person; it never will.

9. A huge responsibility rides on your shoulders – you are my lover, my best friend, my companion, my sanity and most of all, you have chosen to be with me. You’ve no idea how lucky I feel because of that.
Oh my gosh you've read my mind. I feel the exact same way. I'm not sure, but sometimes I'd think, "He's perfect...too perfect. And then there's me. Out of all people—me. I am so incredibly lucky."

10. You are the “one” – because I’m never going to meet someone else as crazy and fucked up as you; whom I could love in the way I am right now; or who could love me back in the way you do now.
Semi-colons can only be used if they're independent clauses/stand-alone sentences. Other than that, yes, I can really relate. I'm happy you've found your "one." ♥

Well, looks like that's it. Let me know if you want to rant about our wonderful, crazy, awesome boyfriends. <3

Keep writing!

So I'm taking a wild guess here. Is this someone special MasterGrieves? Just a wild guess.
Nitpicks:
The respect you show me as a person – makes me confident; and makes me want to respect you.
I really don't think you need all the punctuation you put in here. I don't think you need the dash between person and makes, nor do I believe you need the semicolon between confident and and. << and, and xD
Well, that's pretty much it. Like EscaptetoNeverland said, I feel a little awful reviewing this, or maybe not awful but awkward. This is obviously something personal to you, but I do feel this can apply to a lot of people in love.
Well, it was very sweetly written, and it honestly made me feel warm inside, even though you're not talking to me of course . The only thing I would honestly criticize as a glitch in the writing is #5 . First off, it breaks the consistency of the others, because its something that happened that night, and it therefore takes on the theme of a love letter more than the rest you have here, which definitely resembles a love letter, but also, as you stated, an in-love revelation. I just think it doesn't fit in with the rest of the "announcements", because it's also less general and more specific to a certain incident.
Keep writing
+1

*Creeps slowly over and waves cautiously* Hi. I feel awful for reviewing this because I feel like I don't have a right.... BUT I JUST CAN'T HELP MY SELF!!

Now I get why you'd think people would believe this stunning piece to be 'mushy' but I just think it's honest. Which is a little ironic because you've more or less said it's irrelevant. But that is what this is, it's courageous, it's honest, it's loving and to if I'm telling the truth I can't think of the right adjectives to explain it so I'm going to stop... :3

This is the opposite to 'icky', and anyone who says that it should have stayed closed behind doors needs to be kicked hard in the arse. It's so beautiful. When I saw the title for this I thought: 'Here we go, another break up poem.' But then I felt absolutely awful for thinking that without knowing and clicked on it anyway. Then I was just wowed when I read it!!!

I can completely understand all these points and everything you've said. Especially .1 I have a love-hate-relationship with honesty. This is such a beautifully, stunning piece that amazes me into a stupor.

This is going to sound weird, but thank you for writing this. It has really made me think about alot of things. I hope <i> he <i/> reads this. *Bows graciously*

I look forward to reading more of your work in the Greenroom and I'm so glad I read this.

~Neverland.