Young Writers Society

Hello CapitalMonday here for a review. i like to begin that poem could relate to many people since when we hear a song that reminds us of someone we have lost or someone we haven't seen in forever, we cry. This poem expresses that nicely since when the person playing the song, their tear is splatted onto the instrument they are playing. Also this poem could be describe as well written on since it has a great message and the tone of this poem would be sorrow.

Nitpick(s):

sweet and sorrowful, a helpless need

silencing all but the song

In the first segment the player seems young and since the music sends shivers down their back I would say that it is sending all kinds of endorphins throughout their body, creating a sort of internal musical rhythm through the veins and arteries. I think the music has some deep meaning to them as the person's emotions are evoked by it. Quivering as a verb, according to Google definitions is a, "tremble or shake with a slight rapid motion, but as a noun it's, "a slight trembling movement or sound, especially one caused by a sudden strong emotion." Here it seems to be a combination of both. Why the player is emotional in this moment I do not know, but as the poem goes on I begin to form my hypothesis.

A violin. I think the owner has been playing it for a long time and either just the violin is aging or both the player and the violin are fading with the years. Memories and tears, I think the player is recalling perhaps some painful memories that have occurred throughout their life. Either that or the player is just overly emotional about their own music.
"Silencing all but the song" Hm, maybe the player is temporarily trapped in the memory meanwhile everything else fades away. Flashbacks do that in post-traumatic stress victims. Learned that in college in my Seminar of American Trauma course.

I may be wrong, but I think violins are made from horse hair, and I imagine that like human hair they too become brittle and fall. Much like human hair as it is lost with age. Just my speculation. Probably wrong, but hey good job to making me think about it.

A bouquet to you! The poem is beautiful and packed with lots of emotions. The second stanza is symbollic of that especially the line "A single tear falls among the strings, silencing all but the song." Needless to say i'm in love with that line. When you said weathered fingers what crossed my mind is that finger which is symbollic of Man and man in his lifetime goes through many phases such as happy times, emotional times, hard times and so on which weather is symbollic of. And the poet in one of his memories of such a phase, sings a song. So weathered finger is rightly put together and comes off as a strong force in depicting the picture. I feel the words weathered finger is itself majestic in terms of the meaning it holds. Overall your poem is lucid and makes for an enjoyable read. However if u made an effort to write this poem with rhymings, can you imagine how more beautiful this could have been.
Yeah there that's pretty much it. Great talent. Keep up the good work. Hope to read more from you.

Hey there! It's me, victorianbeauty, here to give you a review!

First thing off the bat, I'm gonna say that you have some incredible talent. This is a beautiful piece and you manage to paint an amazing picture, while still managing to be extremely lyrical. Well done!

I have a few nitpicks though, just a few.

Number one:

The sounds wash over my ears,

sending shivers down my back.

The quivering of the bow and strings;

sweet, sorrowful, a helpless need.

Weathered fingers caress the neck;

a song played in soft memories.

A single tear falls among the strings,

silenceing all but the song.

Action shows passion; one by one,

strings break ‘til only one remains.

It plays its last chords in content,

fading, happy to depart.

Action shows passion; one by one,

strings break ‘til only one remains.

I don't know what you are actually trying to aim for here, but as I was reading this I kind of thought of the hunger games. (Sorry if that sounds stupid.) Anyways I really like this and thought that it had a lot of emotion behind it.

"A single tear falls among the strings, silence in all but the instrument."

---I like this line but there is something about it that makes it kind of hard to understand. To me as the reader it sounded kind of clunky and wordy. Maybe you can fix that.---

Overall I thought that the poem was rather beautiful and quite sad. I have one question though, are you portraying the bow being released in an act of like hunting or is it something different, I would really like to know. Good luck, and continue writing.