Hi!
Great job here. I really like how you kept to a common theme and embedded it thought the work. It's very important to stick to the point.
I recommend getting rid of the lines. The stanzas as a blank space do enough justice to signify you are moving onto the next portion of the poem. Lines are unneeded as the space means that there is a new idea.
"so exposed to life that it has consumed"
This part confuses me a bit. I know what you are attempting to say, but it sounds a bit awkward in this order. You might want to change the words' order around to be clearer.
Other than that the figurative language is very nice. It's very descriptive and I can feel the emotion in the simile and metaphors in the work. It's always important to use good figurative techniques.
Also I like how you did not keep the work directed at the person. You compared the situation to yourself and how you and other fared during this time. It shows what was really going on and the contrast really clears up the situation for the reader.
I really can not say I find anything else wrong with the work and could only dish out compliments. Great job!
Points: 13024
Reviews: 123
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