z

Young Writers Society



Blindness

by MilesMcCandless


In a world of exclusively blind people,

how would life, with the ability to see, be?

“Poor boy, he’s been so unfortunate,”

they’d say, “what an odd condition to be cursed with.”

“He says he ‘sees’ things.

What does that even mean?”

I’d be the best basketball player in the world.

The same accolade in hide-and-seek, cricket,

archery, heck, I’d be the best

NASCAR driver of all time!

With all this waiting to be accomplished,

I wouldn’t waste my time trying

To ignite in their imaginations

a world in color ablaze—

A vivid, vivacious animation—

To manifest in mere morphemes,

what they couldn’t fathom.

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50 Reviews

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Sat Apr 26, 2014 10:10 pm
Tiaradyson wrote a review...



I do not understand, which that is the beauty of your writing, because at this moment. I'm going insane trying to understand this. Some minds work slower or not at all. But Its beautiful the way your words flow elegantly and the extension of vocabulary and I may not understand but from the choice of words and little riddles you give your readers. We know there is a message being given.
I am truly sorry, but I would like you to explain It to me. I feel bad I don't understand and I'm sending you this message. That I like what I read, but it's the choice in words and flow that draws me in sometimes when I do not understand some writings. :(




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Sun Apr 20, 2014 3:39 am
Iggy wrote a review...



Hey Miles! It's me again. ^^

Okay so oooo that ending. Particularly those last three lines. Such strong imagery, there! I love that. :D

Moving on, some quick comments:

what an odd condition to be cursed with


I find it odd that you're calling blindness odd. Perhaps use a different word to describe it? Because odd is more something you'd use for something uncommon. Blindness is, unfortunately, common.

The same accolade in hide-and-seek, cricket,


I don't like this word use here. I suggest a different word.

With all of this waiting to be accomplished,


Add in the bolded word.


I think that's all I've got on this. I like the fancy word usage in this. ^^ I adore the voice of the narrator, how he won't let being blind bring down his optimistic mood. It shows me that he's strong and confident that he will be on top of the world one day. It's sad that his dreams may never be accomplished. The feels for the narrator. :'(

Overall, this was a really good poem! Short and sweet, not to mention simple as well. I enjoyed reading it so thanks for sharing. ^^

~Iggy




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274 Reviews

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Sun Apr 20, 2014 2:40 am
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cleverclogs wrote a review...



Heehee, I giggled. :) This is true, though, as people see disadvantages/disabilities as pretty much anything that the general public isn't affected with. The odd one out is picked on, and your work displays this wonderfully. I don't really see any grammatical errors here either, it seems to be well proofread. Well done with this. It's a good idea well executed. Thanks for sharing, and keep writing!





People ask if I ever experience writer's block and I just have to laugh... that's my default position.
— Aaron Sorkin