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Young Writers Society


16+ Language

Trapped By February

by mb1221


Warning: This work has been rated 16+ for language.

TRAPPED BY FEBRUARY

I immediately made my way home after school on Friday. My friends were having a year-end celebration party, but I didn't want to go. I was scared of what was going to happen tonight, when my parents saw my final report card. Out of the seven courses I took this year in grade nine, I had three low 60s, two low 70s, one 80 and one level F. On my way home, I could almost hear my mom grumbling: "You are grounded until the end of summer, young lady! Work on improving your marks over the holidays, or we are not going to Cuba next month as we promised. Actually, we are, but you're not!"

I arrived at my house, turned the lock three times, and finally opened the door. Ah my mom, she was such a paranoid lady of 45. Why would she lock the door three times? She gets so ridiculous sometimes.

Nobody was home when I arrived. My mom was a mathematics professor at a local college, and my dad was a vet. Due to their busy schedules, they always worked long hours, even on Fridays and the weekends. Taking advantage of being home alone, I went upstairs to my room, locked myself in, and turned on my laptop to check out some good quality, pricey makeup accessories.

...

It was 11 p.m. when my parents arrived home. I went downstairs to say hi to them. The first thing they both said when they came in was: "Congratulations, Cathy! You are done with the first year of high school. Now, it's time for summer. You worked really hard this year and you deserve to go to Cuba for vacation. Are you excited?"

"Yes I am," I said, trying to look happy and proud for the "hard work" that I have done over the year. The good thing was that they did not ask to see my report card. My mom went to kitchen to prepare coffee and desserts, and my dad started reading the newspaper. I, on the other hand, snuck out of the door entrance and went back to my room. I was relieved that I did not get yelled at because of my low grades.

When the coffee was ready in ten minutes, my mom called me down. We sat in the living room together and started watching television.

My dad suddenly gulped his coffee; almost spilled it. He said: "Oh Cathy, we forgot to ask you. How is your report card? We know that you've been working really hard, so we have no doubts that you have good grades. Make ourselves proud, young lady. C'mon, bring it to us. Show it to your parents".

"Sure, I will just bring it here now. Give me a second." I left the room and randomly started swearing at nobody. I was in huge trouble right now. The punishments they were most likely going to give me were no vacation, no going out with my friends, and no dates with my boyfriend. A life in prison, in other words.

"Here you go," I said, handing in the blue sheet of paper to my dad, whose eyes, all in a sudden, grew bigger, and bigger, and bigger, until he winked them and stood up from his armchair. "Here we go", I murmured. My father raged: "Cathy, what is this shit? I am ashamed of you! Only one good mark and the rest, you almost failed. Oh, I actually see a failing mark here. You should go kill yourself now."

He gave the report card to my mom, by saying: "Look Emilia! Look how our hardworking daughter did in this school year. Apparently, she was too busy shopping for makeup accessories instead of studying."

My mom yelled at me as well. Then, I was ordered to be seated. She said: "Your father and I were both really hardworking students. You have a math professor mother and a vet father. We are ashamed of having a not smart daughter like you. Here are your punishments for this shameful report, Cathy. First of all, you are grounded until the next school year! Secondly, you are not coming to Cuba with us. And lastly, you cannot use your computer in the next two weeks. You are going to go to school in summer to improve your grades, young lady. In addition to those, you are going to be mowing the backyard tomorrow. Now go to your room and stay there until tomorrow morning."

I was really upset. I just went upstairs to my room without saying a word. I locked the door, got in my bed, and started weeping. I texted my boyfriend, Alan, and told him that I won't be seeing him until the school resumes in the fall. He got so upset, but did not blame it to me. My weeping got louder, louder, and louder. Suddenly, I heard someone talking in my room. It was a voice that I didn't recognize, that I've never even heard in my life. She said: "Why are you crying, Cathy? Don't worry about your parents. There is a way to solve this problem. You can still see your friends. Just listen to me."

Who was talking? Maybe it was just a prank done by my parents, who were both successfully capable of changing their voices and had always been infamous for such pranks in the house. I got out of the bed and opened the door. But nobody was there. I got really frightened and breathed heavily. "I am here, Cathy. Turn around. Right here."

I turned around and screamed. It was the mirror talking to me! I took a step back, grabbed the vase that was sitting on my nightstand, had it ready to throw it to the mirror to protect myself. I said: "You... You are... ta... talking. Mirror. What the hell is going on?" And shockingly, the mirror responded: "I am here to save you from this world and from your cruel parents. They should understand that it's not a big deal if you are doing badly at school. I will introduce you to a new world. A world on the other side of the mirror. As you may understand, everything will be exactly the same. The only difference is that you can do everything you want, because this side of the mirror is the real world, and other side is the world of your own. If you want to enjoy your summer, come in.

I sighed. I was relieved that the mirror was not dangerous. "What is your name?," I asked the mirror. She said: "I am February. I only talk to people when they need to get out of the real world. I am a very helpful object, see? Now come in and enjoy the world of your own, where all you do in a day is spend time with your friends and have fun! All you have to do to get in is to say the magic words, astare lesta wispare alluta yuwuwa serinta. Also, before I forget, in order to come back in here, you have to say: "Verto assurta innartio niupe." Get ready, make sure to pronounce the words correctly. Have fun and good luck, Cathy."

I thanked February, said the magic words, and took a step forward into the mirror. I was in my room again. Everything seemed like they were turned around by 180 degrees. I wondered why. It took me almost a minute to realize that it was the image of my room reflected in the mirror. (No wonder why I did horribly in physics this year).

To check to see if I could really do what I wanted, I went downstairs. It was 9 a.m. in the morning. I asked my parents if I could go out, and they gave me permission. "I am not grounded?", I asked them, just to make sure. "Why would you?". my dad replied, "You're on summer vacation, Cathy. Do whatever you want. But remember to be back by 8 p.m. in the evening."

I grinned so happily. "I will, I promise," I said, and I left the house.

Throughout the day, I spent few hours biking, few hours at my friend's place gossiping on who the hottest guy in our school was, and another two hours with Alan. Everything was the same; the same yellow daisies on the side of the streets, the same stores, the same cars and everything. I had so much fun! When I was back at home, it was exactly 8 p.m. I went to my room, said the magic words: Verto assurta innartio niupe, and got back to the real world. "So, how was your first day?", February asked. "It was absolutely amazing. Thanks so much, Feb," I told her. But I was tired. So I said good night to her and went to sleep.

...

I woke up at 8:30 the next day. The breakfast table had already been prepared when I got to the dining room. The table was filled with omelettes with bacon and cheddar cheese, roasted tomatoes, cream cheese, chocolate spread, and few slices toasted bread. I sat on a chair just before mom and dad came in carrying the coffee jug and the mugs. "Good morning," I said, smiling. My dad had already taken his seat. My mom said: "Hey," pouring coffee into the mugs, without looking at me. We ate our breakfast quietly. After we were done, I stood up, went to the bathroom to brush my teeth. I also thought about what happened yesterday with February. Was that just a dream? Or was it real? I wasn't sure... I hoped I wasn't going insane. When I arrived at my room, I gently approached to the mirror and said "Hi". Apparently, what happened yesterday was not a dream. "Good morning, Cathy", February said, "How are you doing today? Ready for another adventurous day? Come on, step in."

I said the magic words out loud, and went through the mirror again. Today, I felt like having four scoops of ice-cream and drinking a cup of herbal tea later on. Unlike most other people, I adored herbal tea. My grandma used to make me a cup every time I stayed overnight at her place when I was a kid, which happened pretty often due to the busy work schedules of my parents who sometimes failed to do parenting for me.

I wanted to stay here for only two hours today. So, as soon as I finished my herbal tea, I made my way back to the mirror. I said the magic words, but couldn't get through! February started talking again: "Hi Cathy, you can't get in yet". "Why not?", I asked, shocked and a little scared. "Oh, didn't I tell you? Maybe I forgot. Sorry about that. Each time you go to the other side of this mirror, you have to stay for at least five hours. This is the rule, there's nothing I can do about it. Can you come back later, perhaps?"

I suddenly started laughing. "Of course," I said, "No problem." Then I went to the local mall that was located at the end of our street. I looked for makeup materials for three hours and bought six different colours of the most well-known brand of eyeliners. Then I went back home, got through the mirror and stepped back into the real world. I was having so much fun every day. I wish I had discovered February much earlier.

The next few weeks of summer passed by. I spent so many hours every day on the other side of the mirror. In fact, each day, I spent more time there than I did on the day before. One day, I decided to go through February as soon as I woke up, without having breakfast. I said the magic words: " astare lesta wispare alluta yuwuwa serinta", then I stepped in. However, that day was far more different than the previous ones. After having spent seven hours, I came back to the mirror, said the magic words, but couldn't get through!

I was trapped inside the mirror. Suddenly, I heard loud voices all calling for help. I looked behind, and saw many children, who seemed to have been imprisoned by February, just like me. Then, February laughed and started talking: "Ha hah ha! You kids are such silly creatures. I could never have imagined it would be this easy to trick all of you. I hope you have been having fun inside. Unfortunately, there is no way out anymore. It was just a nice game that I played on you. Did you notice that the first letters of each magic word to get in happen to be always, and the ones to get back out here happen to be vain? This means that you'll always be trapped inside, in your own worlds, forever, and whatever you try in order to escape, will be useless. You are now my slaves, you shall obey to what I say to you. Ha hah ha!"

I started crying. "You bitch! Let us out now, or I'll break you." February was calm, and said: "Try it, but I am positive that it's not going to work. So don't waste your time, you loser!"

"Mom! Dad! Help!", I screamed, "Please hear me! I am trapped!". The other kids also did the same thing. February looked panicked as she was shaking, as though people on the other side could hear us. I kept screaming, and my parents' reflections appeared behind me in the room, meaning that they did hear me, and they were in the room now. But of course, they didn't see anybody. I kept screaming: "I am trapped inside the mirror. Help me!" My mom made an agonizing shriek, and my dad ran towards the mirror, saying: "Cathy, how the hell did you get in there? I... don't know what to do. Tell us what happened".

"No time for that now, dad. First get me out of here."

February still seemed panicked. She was trying to smile and look like nothing was wrong, but she failed to hide her fears.

"Where exactly are you now, Cathy? Wherever you are, take few steps back, I will break the mirror."

"No, don't do that! Don't do that!", February said, revealing that getting broken would indeed free all the inmates. I felt so cheerful for being rescued, and took few steps back with the rest of the children as my father told me to do.

The mirror, along with the deafening cry of February, split into a million pieces. All the other children disappeared; they probably reunited with their own families, I thought. After the mirror was broken, who I first saw were my parents, standing side by side, running towards me with their arms opened. "Mom, dad, I am so sorry," I said, kindly asking for their forgiveness.

"No Cathy, we are the ones who are sorry. We'd like to apologize from you for being rude to you about your school grades. We have understood that marks don't mean anything at all in this short life. During your absence, we realized how much we love you; you are everything for both of us. Nothing is more important than love. Now go, call your friends and invite them over for a party. And don't forget to have fun. Also, pack up your suitcase for Cuba tomorrow morning."

I told them about the whole February story. Once I was done, they left the room. And as soon as they left, I grabbed my phone, and dialed few of my friends, as well as Alan. We had so much to talk about tonight.


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Points: 523
Reviews: 4

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Sun Apr 20, 2014 7:50 pm
Charlie793 wrote a review...



First of all I really liked this plot, and I think if you just edited it a bit it would be a really great piece of work. A couple of things need to be edited.

"Cathy, what is this shit? I am ashamed of you! Only one good mark and the rest, you almost failed. Oh, I actually see a failing mark here. You should go kill yourself now."

I think you over did the reaction as bit. A parent would NEVER tell a child to go kill themselves, I understand you were trying to get the anger across you just need to tone it down a little.

"What is your name?,"

This happens quite frequently in your story. You don't need a coma after the question mark.

"I grinned so happily."

The 'so' isn't necessary here.

"We had so much to talk about tonight."

You have jumped from past tense to present tense. It would be either; 'we have so much to talk about tonight' or 'we had so much to talk about that night'

When you introduce February it is very abrupt and the main character trusts her very quickly, which doesn't come across as very realistic. Also we have no clue what February is, is the voice plainly coming from the mirror, or is it her reflection talking, later on you say she failed to hide her fears but how do you know that of you have not explained what she looks like.

Overall I enjoyed this piece, just a couple of spelling and grammar errors, nothing too major. You need to work on the flow of your writing as it's coming of as a bit robot like. Sorry if I am coming of as harsh I just wanted to help and this is my first review. I really enjoyed your plot and I wish you the best of luck with your future pieces.




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Sun Apr 20, 2014 3:30 am
Iggy wrote a review...



Hello! :D I bumped the rating on this to 16+ due to the language.

Show it to your parents".


Some countries like to put their periods outside the quotation marks, but by looking at the rest of your dialogue, that isn't how you do it. Must've been a typo. Fix it.

crabbed the vase that was sitting on my nightstand, had it ready to throw it to the mirror to protect myself.


I think you mean "grabbed" instead of "crabbed" right? Also, cut out the "had".

"What is your name?,"


You don't need that comma, seeing as how you have the question mark already.

I grinned so happily.


There's no need for the word "so" here.

Throughout the day, I spent a few hours biking, a few hours at my friend's place gossiping


Add in the bolded words.

"Ha hah ha!


Instead of that, how about you describe her laughing? "Ha hah ha!" sounds monotone and robotic.

"Mom! Dad! Help!", I screamed


That comma is unnecessary.

"Please hear me! I am trapped!".


The period is also unnecessary.

"No time for that now, dad.


Dad* should be capitalized. Always capitalize Dad(dy)/Mum(my)/Mom(/my) unless they have my/our/his/her/their/etc. in front of it.


Okay. First thing: you don't need to add punctuation after quotation marks. If a questions ends with a question mark, then there's no need for a comma or a period or something else. It only needs one punctuation mark. Read this if you need more help understanding punctuation.

Second, you describe February as nothing, just the mirror, and then you state that she looks frightened. How can she look frightened if she if a mirror? I think you should have personified her further, brought her to life, made her a whole person. That way, Cathy can actually see her facial expressions.

Third, your dialogue is very very awkward. o_o I don't know why. Everything just felt so awkward and robotic. I'm not sure I can help you fix it. I suggest you reread this and try to get the flow smoother, because the dialogue just felt so choppy, like a teenager auditioning for a part and reading off of a script instead of having it memorized.

But really, this was awesome. It reminded me of the movie by the awesome Tim Burton, Coraline. I like the idea of children being unhappy with their lives and so a monster, disguised as a savior or a blessing, comes to them and offers them an alternate world where they can live a better life. And thus the child is sucked in, only to try to leave one day and they find out that they can't. And then blah blah, the parents save them or vise versa and all is well. I'm disappointed! You should've broken away from the norm and made this tragic, with her dying or being lost forever. I do love a tragic ending... ;)

Overall, this was very very good and I enjoyed it very much.

~Iggy




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Sun Apr 20, 2014 2:02 am
WillowPaw1 wrote a review...



Hello there! WillowPaw here to review!

I'll do nitpicks first.

Ah my mom, she was such a paranoid lady of 45.

Comma after "ah" and I think you should writer 45 out (as forty-five).

"Yes I am", I said

Comma inside the quotes.

. I, on the other, sneaked out

I think you meant on the other hand.

Unlike most other people, I adored herbal tea.

Are you kidding me?!! Lots of people love herbal tea!

Okay, there are several other nitpicks in here. I won't do all, though. In almost every place you out the period/comma out of the quotes, when it should be inside.

NOW.

The dialogue seems reallllyyyy unrealistic. Let's take this for example:

"Cathy, what is this shit? I am ashamed of you! Only one good mark and the rest, you almost failed. Oh, I actually see a failing mark here. You should go kill yourself now".


I understand that her dad is mad, but seriously! Parents love their kids. Even though she got a bad grade, why would he tell her to kill herself? They were going to take her to Cuba. That's nice, isn't it? And suddenly, bam! They're angry (which I understand because she got bad grades, but still).


Despite all my harsh comments (sorry about that), this plot is actually pretty cool. It seems a little rushed. Bad grades. Parents mad. Talking mirror etc etc. See what I mean? Besides that, this is interesting, and unique. The talking mirror reminds me of Snow White. :)

Anyways, I suggest you seriously edit over this and maybe change a few things.

Sorry I sounded harsh, but keep writing!!! <3

Hope this helps,

WillowPaw1~





He who knows only his own generation remains forever a child.
— Cicero