Young Writers Society

Hello, I can completely relate to this poem, since I am also a musician, though not of the bass. I play the piano, and it's very true everything you've said about the bass line.

On to the review: I think this poem will flow a lot better if you take out the repeated line "what am I." Usually' riddle-like poems such as this are not broken up by that question. I also think the ending might work better if of settle on one answer rather than saying, "I am the upright bass, or more so, the bass line." I think 'the bass line' is suitable enough to cover the upright bass but also include all other bass instruments. Also, I feel like, because the poem is bout music, that it should have a more musical quality to the rhythm. Think of it as rap. Say your poem out loud as if you are rapping, and you'll be able to hear the parts that don't flow as well as others. Hope that helped even a little, and good luck:)

Hey there it's me KissMe! And I'm going I give you a review, well this poem one!

Let's jump/swim/crawl/or sly in. What ever you please.

Ok so Keats start with punctuation, formatting, grammar, and spelling. Wonderful job on all of them, though I would say that stanzas looks a bit better. Though not all poems need it so yeah.. Next though would be the actually meaning and poem it's self. I just wanted to say that it really is a good poem, but the thing is that it doesn't seem all that nessisary to repeat 'what am I?' After each line. But that's just me and my opinion, so don't mind it. Te poem it's self like I said is amazing and great. The meaning great. Te only think that got me and the constant repeat of 'what am I?' That's the only think I would really fix on it. But yeah great job, thank you for postin this work it was a great read.

Keep writing and follow your dreams!!

~KissMe