Hi retrodisco666! You did a great job writing this poem. If Chris was a real person, then I hope you get that person (I'm not sure whether Chris is a male or a female). May the odds be ever in your favor.
I can see your honesty and sincerity in writing this poem. I think this poem is like a window to your conscience; and through it one can see the innocence of your feelings and emotions. You managed to stay away from cliches, despite this poem being a 'confession'. Actually, I had a good time reading your poem. I may have related to a few lines or so.
I read your reply to one of the reviews. You said being choppy and random is your style, or at least, the style you used in this poem. I respect that. People have different styles of writing.
From my perspective, I think a better choice of words and a cleaner approach would do better for this concept. It's like a short story made to look like a poem. Perhaps it's your style, and I respect that.
Also, I noticed this:
Where as your average reply time was 384 second and mine reached a staggering 3.84 seconds because any longer and you might think I don't care about you.
I think the text in bold should read "was 384 seconds". Correct me if I'm wrong.
What I really like about this poem is the honesty and sincerity in it. It's giving an impression that you're a transparent man.
Honest. Adorable. Nice work.
I've read some of your other works. Some works blend, while some stand out. I think you're a great writer.
Keep writing. Have a nice day.
Points: 699
Reviews: 9
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