Young Writers Society

Hi, J.C. here for a review!

Well...it's a bit hard to write a review for such a poem, speaking honestly. There's not much to review, here.

As a poem there is an essence of it that can be intriguing and or inspiring. That's what poetry is all about, I guess, finding the deeper meaning in something and expounding upon it.

[qoute]I bleed

And bleed

And bleed

And bleed

And[/qoute]

Wow! That was one long quote!

Actually, I find the poem interesting because it's so short. It's almost like looking at Franz Kline Painting. Essentially, you stand there with your head leaning to the side and say, 'What the?' But there is always something in them that the viewer, or in this case the reader, can take away from it.

I suppose I would interpret this poem as the essence of live. Bleeding endlessly, that's how it feels sometimes. We waste away the hours and days and months and years, the life draining from us, and for what? It's probably not what you had in mind, but the last 'and' is what made me think of that.

Overall, I can't say it was an amazing poem, but I can't say it wasn't, so I'll just give you a thumbs up and leave it at that.

Thank you Sassykat!

Well this poem's description was certainly accurate "short and open-ended", which is definitely not necessarily a bad thing. Since your poem is only 5 lines and 3 different words, word choice and formatting choices are very important.

Word Choice: I like the fact that the three words you used were one syllable words and very simple. "Bleed" is a great verb, it is visual and something that the reader can relate to, it can also be a metaphorical sort of bleeding. Like maybe the speaker is loosing their identity or self somehow, which could be supported by the fact that the first word was "I" and then it was never repeated again. I would suggest considering changing some of the words from "bleed" to a different verb, this is just a suggestion to give your poem some more depth. If you're just going for one very specific message than I understand if you don't want to distract from it by adding more content, but adding more content could add another layer of depth and some background for your poem's message so that the reader can better connect to the poem.

Formatting: I really like how the last line is just one "And" that leaves the reader waiting for the last word. It gives the questions "What happens next?" does the speaker die? pass out? get help? Very open to interpretation. Did you purposely capitalize every "And"? I personally think that a lower cased "and" would fit better, because you aren't really beginning a new thought each line, you're relating a continuing narrative joined by a conjunction. If this is just a normal style choice for you to begin each line with a capital letter I can understand that though too.

Message: Overall I'm a little lost at what you're trying to communicate with this poem, I feel sympathy to the speakers pain and I can see them bleeding out, but I'm not sure what I'm meant to take from it. Maybe the simplicity is the message? That pain, death, and blood are simple but leave questions (last unfinished line).. I like the poem overall but perhaps adding more words could make the message stronger, just to have some background.

Thank you for posting! I enjoyed reading your poem, and look forward to reading more! Keep writing!!!!
~Alliyah

stopped.

Hi! Sassykat

I like how you've constructed this poem, leaving it open-ended. For some reason, it may show how we differ in handling pain. Depending on it's degree, some might be a masochist and endure the pain that they're currently receiving but we all deserve to be happy, right? So we must let go of what's breaking us inside & start a new..

Nice work