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Bad story
It was dark and stormy and this tornado was happening and it went around in circles sucking up things as it went iand it was long and grey and super tall and it had swirls and everything and it was grey. It made storms around it too like that and the clouds were raining and the thunder boomed louder than thunder with lightining came out too.
A kid called Zanethan was an orphan. When his parents died they had died in a car crash. But Zanethan survived but now he lived in an ophrangae with this really mean lady called mrs Bogbott the Nice and she was really mean. Zanethan got really angry because now he was 15 now. And he wanted mrs Bogbot to get punished for when she punished him and then this kid who was Zanethans best friend from childhood fried said, "Hey Zane look this guy came in and I think he wants to adopt someone" and his friends called him zane for short because Zane is short for Zanethan and it was a nickname.
And it was true what his best friend said because this really tall guy walked in and he was covered in all this mean gear that made him look really pro like he had two swords sticking out of his back in their containers and he had this super bulletproof armour on and everything. And all the kids said "Wooooah?!"
But it was bad timing because the decked out guy had come in right when Botbog had been yelling to the kids (because the asssistant had let him in)
And she was yelling and everything and the guy went right up to her and killed her. And then all the kids said yay because she was dead because she was really mean and then the guy left and walked out of the house and he left through the front door just walking along like nothing and he left.
But zane wanted to foloow him so he ran after him and they were down the street when
Zane yelled out "hey wait" and the guy turned around then when he turned around he made a grunt and then he turned back around and Zane ran up to him and catched his arm and said. "wait, train me to be like you" and the guy said
"no" and then Zane looked down at the ground and felt very sad and unhappy because he wanted to get trained by the guy and then the guy looked at him and then the guy had a chnage of heart and then the man said "oh ok then but it will be hard and you have to come with me." And that was good for Zane so zane was happy and he followed the guy to get trained with him.
Then it turned out that the guy was called Gonrad and Zane called him Master gonrad and when he took of his armour he wasnt that young but he was really built up and ripped and all. "I am trained in every single kind of martial arts" said Gonrad to zane one day.
"and I am also super pro with swords and arrows and guns and I can hit the target when im blindfolded so dont mess with me but I will train you."
Then on the first year zane got trained untill he was so good he was even better than gonrad and he suprassed his master. And Zane was only 16 and he had all the gear and stuff that gonrad had and it was even better because he was more professional and then Gonrad turned evil and revealed that he was secretly super villians who killed villagers and zanethan was secretly a secret experiment and then Zanethan and gonrad had to have a showdown.
The air was very cold like ice which was freezing blue drops made of ice which was as cold as antarctica settled on the face of the previous master who had turned evil and Zanethan felt very annoyed and furious at him for tricking him and his fists were clenched tight into tight big as balls so and super tight fists. Then Gonrad striked and I dodged him bu jumping out of the way but he wasnt down yet and he tried to kill me withn a gun but I deflected the bullet using my armour sword. Zanethan then stiked hard on the head and in one his gonrad died because zane was in the end very much better. And there was this girl on the side who was watching and she was a girl from the orphanage who Zane had sceretly liked back then and she happened to be there and saw the whole battle and then zane went up to her and she said
"I really liked you this whole time and all and that was a big sacrifie that you had to make and you did well" so then I took her by suprrise and leaned down and kissed her and she put her tongue into Zanes mouth which teasted like strawberries and cream and sugar with cherries and everything and zane did the kiss back and then he got it on with her later and then they went back to the orphanage and opened the gates and set all the kids free.
The end.
(if you were wondering it was written for this http://www.youngwriterssociety.com/viewtopic.php?f=404&t=98646 )
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