z

Young Writers Society


E - Everyone

Games in our School [Essay]

by Jenthura


This is an essay for a film scholarship, so these words are the script to be read over video. Please keep in mind that it is meant to be heard, rather than read. I hope this works.

Thanks in advance for any criticism! Really, bring out your mud cannons and fling it at me!

I want to talk to you about games.

People see kids playing games and assume they’re wasting time; fruitlessly throwing away the best parts of their life on a digital world. Although many games are indeed useless, there are games that aid and engage young minds in their journey through learning.

When I was younger, I spent hours trying to memorize the multiplication tables by reading them over and over. My mother understood that I was slaving away at it yet going nowhere, so she introduced me to flash cards. I and my siblings would try to beat each other to the answer, hoping to have a largest stack of cards by the end. Dynamic elements and the vigour of competition really caught my attention and, as you might have guessed, taught me the multiplication tables.

It’s no little surprise that I became interested in game programming at the age of 13. My older brother taught me what he knew, and introduced me to an amazing program, “Game Maker”. I would spend hours coding, debugging, testing, and coding again. My game taught me logic and math I didn’t know existed. I would share my games online and receive feedback on what I’d done right or wrong.

At the age of fifteen, I created a times-table game for my younger brothers. It took me several tries, learning what interested them, what bored them and what gameplay was too advanced for their skills. Eventually, I established a game that was exciting, taught the subject and was just the right level of difficulty.

The entire experiment led me to believe me that there is a great future in educational gaming. I believe that one day most of our learning, from kindergarten and upwards, will be achieved through games.

For example: Khanacademy, a renowned educational website run by the amazing Mr. Salman Kahn, functions very much like a game with points, achievements and a progression system.

Code Academy is a similar educational website that teaches programming languages. It too utilizes a score system with badges and achievements. Your skills can be publicly displayed to show off how much you’ve learned.

These highly successful and useful sites demonstrate that people learn amazingly well when motivated by a simple digital goal, that, no matter how insignificant, can bring so much happiness. I myself was ecstatic when I finally achieved a badge that I had worked on for hours, or sometimes days.

Games have much to teach us in ways that work so well with the young mind. Creative minds can rapturously explode in Minecraft. Games like Age of Empires and Civilisation bring out the relentless strategists and put them in their element. The recently successful Kerbal Space Program brings physics to the table accurately enough that real space-flight techniques can actually be carried out successfully.

Our educational future is in this direction.


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Sun Aug 25, 2013 11:41 am
Deanie wrote a review...



Hey Jenthura,

This is not technically an essay, more like a read to thing so I regard it differently. But it was clear and concise, and it showed your ideas. Because this is more of a let's convince this person games are good, I can understand why you didn't show the opposite side to games, although you did mention this, which was good enough.

Your arguments were valid and well set up and explained. Basically, I can't find anything wrong with this. I liked the final line because it shows this is something to lean towards and hope for because it's something to do with our future. And yes, games can be very educational, but you have made that all the more believable with this piece.

Maybe it is more suited under the genre other, rather than essay? I don't have much more to say :) So I suppose I should sign off.

Deanie x




Jenthura says...


Much appreciated, friendo.



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Sun Aug 25, 2013 1:51 am
Blackwood wrote a review...



I was going to say that for a scholarship essay it really needs to be longer, however since it is heard and not read it is different.

I think this is not in all technicality a true essay, as the entire first half seems to be an autobiography rather than an essay. In an essay you portray a point, then relate it back. As something to listen to what you have written would be much more entertaining than a factual speech however if they specifically asked for an essay I suggest defining your paragraphs more and leaving the personal stuff until the end. As they teach us in school you need your introduction and your bodies and your conclusion. Sometimes they give you catch phrases to remember them by, for example one year it was SEXY (and to all who know me, yes its a coincidence and I'm not making it up.)
Statement, Example eXplain, Y does it link? Or something along the lines, I forgot the Y.
I feel that your conclusion is almost non existent, you need to sum up everything better.
Also How is khan academy related to games? I know I used it and it taught me more than my super-villain maths teacher ever did, but all did was watch the tutorials and do some quizzes, it seems slightly off topic for games. Points don't specifically mean games because I am getting points for writing this review. Prime-ministers technically get 'points' for their elections so I think you need to elaborate on your example.

I am not trying to run you down, I see this as a good argument you have here, but I ask you these questions and state contradictions in order to help you improve. Also your target audience is in question. For a younger audience lets say 10-16 year olds this is well done, but if your audience is English or media professors then you may have to up the content to match them.

Good job and keep on drafting and getting feedback for that scholarship.
(also make sure you delete this off the site before you send it in officially)




Jenthura says...


Thanks. :D



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Thu Aug 22, 2013 4:58 am
Iggy wrote a review...



Hello there. First suggestion - set a definite line between your Author's Note (A/N) and the essay itself. Perhaps bold it, or place a decent sized gap (3 spaces) between the end of the note and the essay, but do something to signify a difference. Please, it made my OCD freak out.

Anyways, on to the nitpicks~

Although many games are useless


Not true. They aren't useless; they are a source of entertainment for the public, especially younger ones. It's not healthy to be on them 24/7, of course, but it's not useless. I suggest you revise that statement.

I and my siblings[/qyote]

Replace >> my siblings and I[

It too utilizes a score system


Edit >> it, too, utilizes

demonstrate that people learn amazingly well


Replace >> better

when motivated by a simple goal, that, no matter how insignificant


That needs to be broken up via a semi-colon. ".. when motivated by a simple goal; that"


Alright, so this seems like a nice essay so far. I'm not sure there is much I can do, since I don't know how they grade essays, wherever it is you live. All I can say is my opinion, which is good. This was very inormative and you gave a good amount of facts, which is always best. You also did a good job explaining your reasoning. Just fix those nitpicks and you'll be good to go!

Good luck and keep on writing!

~ Iggy.




Jenthura says...


Thank you!




more fish is always superior to less fish
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