Young Writers Society

For two years they were like
Oreos and milk.

Now they are more like
Coke and Pepsi.

Hey Blue. This was soo short, but soo cute! I'm not kidding, I just...love this. I know, it's only four lines, but they're four lines of epicness. Maybe this isn't even a poem, but I think in a way that's like looking at something and saying that it almost isn't art. It is what you want it to be. And I like it.
Keep writing,
StoryWeaver

Hey there Blue!

This, I have to say, got me thinking! And when I read it again I was like "Oh!" *palm/face*

Yeah. So I see the 'two' as once upon a time being two people who completed each other- the perfect match/fit- they formed one. Because for most people, you can't have Oreos without milk so they were two beings who existed together like two pieces of a jigsaw pizzle, or like an enzyme's active site and its substrate ( okay, I'm going into biology here...).

And then, since you said that these four lines are from the beginning and the end, I feel as though I know the whole story and that's fantastic. I see that at the end, they're two seperate beings- contradictory and in competition, just like Pepsi and Coke (Coke is so much better that Pepsi by the way!).

I really like what you've done here, and I'd like to have a look at the NaPo version. I think your message in these four lines was very powerful and it shows that length doesn't matter in poetry but that even the small - yet well chosen - amount of words can deliver a great lot to readers.

I have nothing to add, so to some up: this was a really good poem and its length helps keep the message in the reader's mind. That shows its power. So well done for this!

Keep writing!

Peace,

- Mikko.