Sometimes, we can just ignore it and let some other person have a chance at critiquing it, but not all the times we can do this. Say, someone asks you, "Can you critique my story?" And, as such, you are supposed to critique the story. No matter how awful it really is.
So then, the question is how can I be nice?
There's several techniques. I'll lay them out and do whatever you want!
Starting off...
1. Take a DEEP breath.
When you're debating and you feel offended, I will often suggest that you take a DEEP breath and count to ten slowly. Why? Because otherwise, you will hate yourself.
So what has a debating technique have to do with critiquing? Everything.
You see, as editors, we are supposed to look over a story/poem and analyze it. Then comes the hard part... we have to persuade someone why they should listen to us. Yes, we are arguing our point. Fun, huh?
We writers tend to write in the heat of the moment and too often, we write a critique like we write a story... or worse. So we end up with this passionate rant on how much the story sucks.
This is bad.
Instead, take a deep breath, notice how pretty it is outside, and only until you feel your pulse stop racing should you begin to write it. And, if you feel yourself get in the heat of the moment, STOP. Look around, walk the dog, do the dishes, anything to just cool you down. Critiquing is not worth that sort of high blood pressure.
2. Write a "fake" critique.
This is a technique that smaur employs... with amusing results. She writes two critiques. One is her notes, which is basically colorful rantings on how much a story sucks. Or something along those lines. Then she looks back on the notes and, from those notes, writes a nice critique.
Nobody has to see these notes. It's just between you and the story. This is nice because it gives you a place to vent without totally crushing the author's feelings.
3. Remember your roots...
Sometimes, what helps for me is I bring up a truly horrible story that I wrote when I was younger. It makes me laugh (or cringe) depending on how I'm feeling, but it also reminds me that I suck. And, to be honest, sometimes this can make you feel a little bit more sympathetic. Remember how you were once. And remember how you felt about your writing. Then swallow your pride and write.
Techniques for Writing Critiques
1. Think
Sometimes, something smells so badly of suckiness that it seems impossible to locate the problem. So! Think about it. Don't just say it sucks. Most likely, there's a reason why it sucks. And besides, if it's really that bad, then probably the writer has never heard why their writing sucks, just that it sucks. So analyze the story and try to find out the errors. Then help them.
2. Soften It
Now, Strunk and White will tell you how to say things in strong language. But sometimes, if you want to persuade someone, softer language is good. So instead of saying, "This needs to be fixed" you can easily say, "I think the character development might be nicer if you did this." It's less powerful, yes, but sometimes power can backfire on you.
3. Admit Your Faults
Remember: you are not perfect.
Wait... I'll say that again...
YOU ARE NOT PERFECT.
It's that important. I would say it again, but then I would probably annoy you to death. In any case, one way to really soften a critique is to say, "Hey, I've been there too and I wrote this one really sucky story that tried to use the same thing." And then, use YOUR story as an example instead of ripping up their story. It can make them feel better and all that fluffy stuff. Especially for us. We're pretty decent writers... for them to know that we've been through the same problems can mean A LOT to them.
4. Be Friendly!
Use slang and colloquialisms... it doesn't matter. At this time, you want to appear as if you're on their side and want to help them as much as you can. Why? Because you do want to help them. Otherwise, you wouldn't be part of an editing group, no?
In the end, critiquing is not about you but about the people who you help. Helping other people can be an intensely rewarding experience that will give you an opportunity to encourage and strengthen people's writing. So just calm down and have fun!
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