As he stood on the verge of enlightenment
He gazed out at his memories, at what he had seen before
And remembered his disturbed essence of self
Her body had been so rife with death
And glaze were what his eyes bore
Her sickly and burned face weas covered with welts
He welcomed his prize and lie down on the ground
His mystery solved, he smiled.
I don't like it. It seems inconsistent. It also just seems like words to me, and not a poem. There is a rhyming sceme that goes ABCABC. It's weird, because it's based on three, instead of two, like most scemes. It's based on how a certain religion began. Try to guess what it is if you critique.
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