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Young Writers Society


Lost in Nowhere



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125 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 6975
Reviews: 125
Thu Jan 19, 2012 3:36 am
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silentwords says...



An ashen haze,
Blends the slopes of coal,
With the velvet curtain,
Hung overhead.
Light is absent.
Sound is muted.
Left alone,
With no one.
Footprints carved,
Into the ground,
Leave paths that lead


Nowhere.
I'd like to think I'm creative... instead of just plain weird ;D
  





User avatar
144 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 11482
Reviews: 144
Wed Jan 25, 2012 10:35 pm
GoldenQuill says...



Hay there! It's Zly Quill here, as requested.
This review will be short and sweet and to the point, much like your loverly poem. :}

Leave paths that lead

So, 'leave' and 'lead' for some reason together sound weird and made me have to reread it. I think perhaps you should try to revise it. I'm not sure.

Other than that, I did not catch error. I liked the sound of this poem, the way it felt; everything. It was quite lovely and beautiful. Teach me to write like this, okay?

PM me or go to my spaceship if you ever want me to review something again of yours, okay? I wish I could make it longer, but it's really too good to comment on!

Love & Blessings,
Zly Quill
formerly ZlyWilk

Finally achieving my dreams. Dive into a unique horror story.
  








The very worst use of time is to do very well what need not be done at all.
— Benjamin Tregoe