Young Writers Society

ok, I know how to write poetry, but I need to learn how to show more. The thing is....I don't understand how to do that. I feel really stupid for not understanding how to show, but that is why I am asking for help. Please?!?!

Showing, as you've probably heard from reviewers, is preferable to telling. I always use the example of a pie. Now, you could just say to someone, "Why, this pie is delicious!" But in writing you basically want to cook the pie and give it to your reader, and hopefully your reader will find out by himself that the pie is, in fact, delicious.

It's like that old saying, "Actions speak louder than words."

But that's just an analogy. Here's an example:

Telling: She was shocked.

Showing:

From Gone With the Wind, which I happen to be reading right now:

Somehow she found that she was sitting on the low velvet chair and Ashley, on the hassock at her feet, was holding both her hands in his, in a hard grip. He was saying things--things that made no sense. Her mind was quite blank, quite empty of all the thoughts that had surged through it only a moment before, and his words made no more impression than rain on glass. They fell on unhearing ears, words that were swift and tender and full of pity, like a father speaking to a hurt child.

A very boring way to write poetry is to say, "This happened. And I felt like this. And it was like that." Describe things as you feel and see them. For example, if I were to talk to you about the weather right now, I wouldn't say, "It's nice out." That doesn't give you much! Instead, I would describe how the sun feels on my skin--warm but not hot--or the way the road looks sparkly because it rained earlier today, or the way the breeze is moving through the trees. Obviously those things are a little boring, but they'd be a lot more informative than "It's nice."

In poetry, you shouldn't be using feeling words, like happy or sad. Instead, you use objects to bring out that emotion.

Take, for example, a chair. What kind of chair do you want it to be? Is it a comfy armchair where you can curl up with a good book? Or is it a cold folding chair that you're forced to sit on because there's no other chairs left? The way you describe an object in a poem shows your feelings about it.

Of course, you've got to do this in a way that sounds good. Choose words that match the mood, that fit the rhythm, that pack a punch so you don't have to be too wordy. Try not to use too many adjectives because they clog up the flow.

Hope that helped!