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Young Writers Society


Regrets



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Gender: Female
Points: 668
Reviews: 131
Wed Nov 30, 2011 9:26 am
DukeofWonderland says...



Oh Sasha, I wish you were here now. I don't know, maybe you'd have been mad-mad at me but they would find out anyway and many already knew.
I know, I know I'm standing in a toilet with red swollen eyes, talking to a wall but I don't feel as ridiculous as I should. I hope this toilet's water supply never works, its plumbing never gets fixed and no one ever tries to wash this wall clean. When I have enough money I'll buy the school and make sure it NEVER happens. If only I were richer ….
Her sobs filled the room.
It's a pretty silly thought that all our memories are in an unused girls' room but it's not as silly as what you did. But I can't blame you for being so irrational can I? I should’ve noticed things earlier, done something to help earlier….we always realize too late.
Maybe if you'd been seen this before you made your decision, you would've changed it. I've been an ignorant friend, I'm so sorry.

On my first day at school you tore Lara's drawing because she made fun of mine. I know Lara's my best friend now but I forgot to mention that often, you've been a better friend. – Carla.

When we had a food fight in the cafeteria in 4th grade, I know we blamed it on you and you actually accepted detention for it but I hope you remember that I also felt guilty about it – I still do. I swear, I always kept looking for the chance to make it up to you but you never let me. You were a great girl, I'm sorry. – The stupidest screw-up, Josh.

'M' still says that you spread the rumor about 'H' and me and that she's got proof but she could never show it to me. 'M' told me not feel rude that we were sort of rude to you but I still do. I understand how desperate you must've felt that you did "graffiti" with "blood" in such a lifeless place. I hope it wasn't because of me.

If Riley thought no one would know who wrote this, she's dumber than I thought she was. And if she still thinks she was "SORT OF" rude, I'd like to see what she'd feel like if she got ostracized like you did.



Your erudite conscience and equanimity always amazed me. This bloody artwork had been reputed to be yours and though I would never sanction such work, I reverently accept this as an articulate output of the retribution you had to experience in your psyche. – Mrs. Wilson.

In 7th grade, my parents had loads of fights. I thought they were getting divorced and I used to be depressed. But every time I looked at you, I knew your life was worse but you never showed a lot of it. I know your relatives were very bad to you but you were still my inspiration to think, quite selfishly though, about things more important to me – my future. Today my inspiration has given up, but I won't. I will never forget you. – Mike.

I told you Mike had something for you, but you didn't believe me. This is why he kept trying to be a good friend to you but you were too cynical about people and particularly, guys. All boys aren't like your filthy father, Sash, but you wouldn't listen.

Hey Sash, remember we were best friends once in … 2nd grade or something, so I guess there's a lot I know about you that no one else does. Over the years, we've sort of moved away but when I said I'll be there for you forever, I did mean forever. I really wish you hadn't done this, I wish you had grown up enough to have a great job and show your dad he did a dumb thing giving up on a child like you; you would've shown your uncle that he was wrong in treating you like a useless burden. It's pretty dumb that I'm writing … I don't know a letter or an epitaph, on a toilet wall. But apparently everyone else has done the same. It sounds like a pretty bad way to remember you, but it makes sense. You haven't gone yet Sash, you've left your mark and left it pretty deep in everyone's heart. You may not have been a rowdy person, but your presence had much more than just a noise.

See Sasha, do you see it now? You did matter. No one forgot you were there. Anyone else would've stopped you. Oh Sash, I've been a horrible friend, I've been a horrible person.
I knew you were there, I even went Sash. I changed your mind; I convinced you life was worth it. Your mother would've wanted you to become someone the whole world would know, she didn't want to die in vain for you. Lord forgive me, Sash forgive me. I hope your mom can too. I should've pulled you away --- the train was just faster than I thought.

Maria fell to her knees and spent the next few hours shedding tears but all in vain.
Spoiler! :
Thanks to Rubble for helping me write this and making me write it too. :)
"The duke had a mind that ticked like a clock and, like a clock, it
regularly went cuckoo."
-- Terry Pratchett, "Wyrd Sisters"
  





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26 Reviews



Gender: Male
Points: 877
Reviews: 26
Wed Nov 30, 2011 10:17 am
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dhanshucool says...



Hey !
I really liked it. :) Your narration was pretty cool. Especially the first half was impressive then the second half..
It touched me. And anythin that touches our heart is a good writing :D Keep writing..
All the best :D
-Dan
  





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Gender: None specified
Points: 517
Reviews: 34
Wed Nov 30, 2011 11:05 am
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kasimkaey says...



I thought this was pretty emotional and, seeing as how I hate anything emotional, I was surprised that I found myself wanting to read on, albeit only a little.

The first qualm I have is the fact that the first half was so much better than the second. I mean, the first really made me read on to find out why this monologue was happening. Was the girl dead? Did she kill herself? Is this the starting to a book that explains it or...? The second part confused me. The writing about the girl's artwork was too much for me, I just found it hard to believe that a teacher would say that about a child's work? The big words were too much. Mike's addition to it also didn't make sense, how does she have access to that information?

Otherwise, it was good. But you do have some areas to work on.

Kasim.
  








The first draft is a trip to the amusement park. The next drafts are returning there as a safety inspector.
— SunsetTree