z

Young Writers Society


Necessity



User avatar
38 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 700
Reviews: 38
Tue Nov 29, 2011 1:59 am
Laminated says...



*EDIT: Forgot to mention this before, but this was for a really specific contest, which is why it's abnormally short.
Necessity is the mother of invention. Her other children include crime, marriage, and bankruptcy. I’ve become quite acquainted with crime in the recent past , and if necessity is one parent, Idiocy must be another.
I am an idiot, full blown. There is no better word to describe me, save criminal. Nevertheless, I must be here, right now, handing off some disks I nicked from a WAL MART to some street rat with a beer belly. It is a necessity. Russ will murder me if I stop.
The greasy man releases a wheezy chuckle and comments on my nice looking sneakers. I nod and do my best not to grimace from his stench, and make an excuse to leave.
I shuffle my clean shoes along the oily asphalt and make my way home.
Mum answers when I knock. She doesn’t like leaving the door open, not on our street. I understand completely; last night I watched a knife fight down the street out of my bedroom window. Mum’s scared I’ll end up like those guys, in prison. Or 6 feet under.
I stuff the soggy dollars into a dresser drawer and glance out the window. A man with a hood leans against a tree, clutching something in his hand like it’s the Holy Grail.
I make my way downstairs when Mum calls for supper. As I reach the bottom, a grimy hand grips my shoulder and turns me around. Russ.
“My money, son. You know booze is my personal necessity.”
Last edited by Laminated on Tue Nov 29, 2011 10:19 pm, edited 1 time in total.
I'M GUNNA MAKE DIS PLACE YO HOME
  





Random avatar


Gender: None specified
Points: 300
Reviews: 0
Tue Nov 29, 2011 2:07 am
wawamelon says...



I like this idea you have, you have a very good writing style. Are you going to do more? Because I actually like it ending right here, its kind of a cliff hanger, but not really, and it gets your point across.
  





User avatar
88 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 2723
Reviews: 88
Tue Nov 29, 2011 8:07 am
hudz96 says...



you have a very nice way of writing and i couldn't see anything wrong with it except for the fact that its quiet small. You should add more to it, i know its supposed to be a general short story, and people want to know the rest but you didn't really think about the rest when you were writing it.. believe me i know the feeling. But please continue it I'm sure you will not regret doing so.
Otherwise I really liked it. :D
Don’t let your victories go to your head, or your failures go to your heart.
  








gonna be honest, i dont believe in the moon
— sheyren