I wrote the first 5 chapters of this story in rough a few months ago but stupidly of me didn't back it up on a disk or anything alike and funnily enough the laptop broke down and deleted, everything. I was devasted, as I had spent a long time planning the story. So saddened by the loss of my beloved... okay now I'm getting dramatic, the point is, I gave up. Didn't start again or nothing.
But earlier this week I had a spark of inspiration, and with the original story in mind I re-wrote the idea. Its similar, but different and in my opinion better than the previous idea.
Names of places are completely made-up, so I apologise for their not-being good.
Please feel free to tell me exactly what you think, and if you have any questions ask away!
The following text is the first page and a half of the first draft of my new idea, I plan on expanding this stuff soon. I repeat: this is the rough draft:
I pictured Draquin to be a little more… happy.
Oh it wasn’t dark or anything similar, no, it was beautiful. But it certainly had a bad atmosphere.
The people - if you could call them that - were nice, but I could tell they wanted me out. Reasons unknown. I got the feeling that it was dangerous to be there, in fact I had that impression since I arrived in Khoretta. I thought about leaving, but I didn’t know a way out you see. It’d been a while, I didn’t know how I got here. I still don’t. But back then I was really confused. A few drifters helped me calm down and told me where I was.
“Draquin,” they began, “was a widespread garden of sorts. Picturesque. The grass grew perfectly around the dirt paths that lead you through the thick forests. Each tree a different shade of green. The roots of such trees laid across the ground in a impressive manner, never getting in your way. The waters in the rivers and lakes glistened, it was hard to look away. However, if you wanted to attend the grand parties in the village, you’d have to. Now those parties, they were the best in all the land. Folks used to travel from all over - even if they weren’t invited - just to see these glorious events.” They went on for what felt like hours but I was too curious about one thing to understand the rest. The thing that caught my attention about their description was the way they were speaking. In the past tense. I daren’t ask why.
They seemed distant though, after we had finished talking. Must’ve been hiding the truth. Whatever it was.
The drifters told me Draquin was the place to go, although I had already planned going there. Unfortunately they weren’t heading in the same direction, I had to find my own road. Fortunately, it didn’t take long and I didn’t have to spend the night alone either!
I had just settled down outside Draquin’s only tavern when I heard a disturbance inside, somebody shouted, then there was a crash. As if a fight was brewing, I didn’t want to hang around but something kept me there. The door hit the exterior wall with so much force when it opened, it made the stones on the ground jump. I looked up in time to see someone fly through the doorway. A greasy man who looked like he hadn’t shaved in a day or two bellowed at them then slammed the door shut behind him. It was dark, at a glance this person looked like a young man, I made the mistake of calling her ‘sir’. As soon as she approached me I could see she was a girl - despite her angry expression - no doubt about that.
Gender:
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