Young Writers Society

I like this more every time I read it. I think that the single lines of dialogue just visually [and therefore mentally] stretch it out for me. But like I've said, that's just a superficial thing.

“Why would you fly a kite that’s so obviously broken?”

Something seems off with the wording of this line; the doctors seem to be rather crude people, and this line seems almost too flow-y or elegant for them.

I really liked it!
At first I thought the story was about a nobody man, somebody who is alone and doesn't know anybody, isn't friends with anybody, and is really forlorn in his own world. Then I thought it was about the tragedies the world can bring onto harmless people. Then when I read Clau's idea I thought it sounded pretty good and actually related well with the text.

I liked everything, except two things:

The kites part was good, but it was so...well, random! Maybe make it a symbol of something. No idea how to do that, but think up something, make the doctor or the other person say something about the kites that will help distinguish a meaning to the kites.

Two: “Why would you fly a kite that’s so obviously broken?”

“I told you he was stupid.”

I think you should add another sentence, saying how they exited the dreary room, three men, one looks like this, blah blah. Just don't end it with such a disappointing reply. As a reply, it's good. As an ending...not so. So just add something in the end, whatever that may be.

I liked it a lot!

i liked this alot. i thought the fact that it was predominantly written in dialogue is what made it effective. usually im not a huge fan of things with a lot of dialogue but i think it worked well in this.

althought i do think that the end is missing something. personally, i think it ended too abruptly but i dont really see any other way which you could have done it either..which isnt too helpful but i thought id mention it anyway.

i definatly dont think it needs any more description though. i think theres enough communicated through what's written.

It really is just all talking :/
And most of it is pretty dry, it doesn't give much life to the characters.

The guy who had brought in the patient. Who was he? I didn't understand his character at all.
The doctor seemed too unsre of himself for a doctor.

I liked the bit that the patient wrote, that was a very interesting part. I think it saved the story.

I'd like to see this with more in it, action, not just dialouge.

I also didn't understand where this was leading on to. It just seemed like a conversation with no real meaning behind it.


:/

This was . . . simply amazing . . . breath-taking! Without even a description of the place or time-period, even without a description of the characters, you still managed to ignite this whole scene in my mind of the story. It was just conversation--simple conversation. --although through conversation, the story line was revealed, it was still amazing. I loved it! It was simply amazing . . .

A Thousand Dancing Kites is a story lacking for words, but even without fine sentences, it nevertheless can convey what the story is really is. It is a story you get from staying in an asylum. A story as if it is a written experience only. A story that seems to be fascinating, that the writer found himself wanting to write it.

Lackluster? Probably not, but it missed a lot of elements for it be considered as a masterpiece. The style of writing was rubbish and a lot of details can be added to the dialogue. Was the writer not in mood, or was he just lacking the capability of formal writing. But if the writer aimed for a dialogue instead, then he made it. But I consider this as a story and not as a dialogue.

It's a loose story with a climax that isn't that effective at all. So, it's a story about retarded writer? So what? The story lack the feeling of completion. I wanted more, and you need more.

Generally, this is a above simple story of an under acceptable writing style. The plot had a feeling of incompletion in it.

But... if in case this is truly a dialogue, then consider the above review as void. If this is a dialogue, it was good, but it needs more though it is a dialogue.