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No offence to any religous folk!



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Wed Dec 21, 2005 9:33 pm
thegirlwhofateloves says...



This is an e-mail my cousin sent to me...personally, I found it highly amusing...so I thought I'd share it with you...
Ladies and gentlemen....it's the Chav Nativity!



There's this bird called Mary, yeah? She's a virgin (wossat then?)

She's not married or nuffink, but she's got this boyfriend, Joe, innit? He
does joinery an' that. Mary lives with him in a crib dahn Nazaref.

One day Mary meets this bloke Gabriel. She's like `Oo ya lookin at?'
Gabriel just goes 'You got one up the duff, you have.' Mary's totally
gobsmacked. She gives it to him large 'Stop dissin' me yeah? I ain't no
Kappa-slapper. I never bin wiv no one!'

So Mary goes and sees her cousin Liz, who's six months gone herself.
Liz is largin' it. She's filled with spirits, Barcardi Breezers an'
that.

She's like 'Orright, Mary, I can feel me bay-bee in me tummy and I
reckon I'm well blessed. Think of all the extra benefits an' that we
are gonna get.' Mary goes 'Yeah, s'pose you're right'

Mary an' Joe ain't got no money so they have to ponse a donkey, an' go
dahn Bethlehem on that. They get to this pub an' Mary wants to stop,
yeah? To have her bay-bee an' that.

But there ain't no room at the inn, innit? So Mary an' Joe break an' enter
into this garridge, only it's filled wiv animals. Cahs an' sheep an' that.

Then these three geezers turn up, looking proper bling, wiv crowns on
their heads. They're like `Respect, bay-bee Jesus', an' say they're
wise men from the East End.

Joe goes: 'If you're so wise, wotchoo doin' wiv this Frankenstein an'
myrrh? Why dincha just bring gold, Adidas and Burberry?' It's all about
to kick off when Gabriel turns up again an' sez he's got another message
from this Lord geezer.

He's like 'The police is comin an' they're killin all the bay-bees. You
better nash off to Egypt.' Joe goes 'You must be monged it you think I'm
goin' dahn Egypt on a minging donkey'

Gabriel sez 'Suit yerself, pal. But it's your look out if you stay.' So
they go dahn Egypt till they've stopped killin the first-born an' it's
safe an' that.

Then Joe and Mary and Jesus go back to Nazaref, an' Jesus turns water into
Stella.
www.myspace.com/prettytorture
felicitypepper@hotmail.co.uk

Big up the YWS Massive!

....And I still don't know what SPEW is....
  





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Wed Dec 21, 2005 9:49 pm
Snoink says...



XD

I hope this is our gospel reading for Christmas...
Ubi caritas est vera, Deus ibi est.

"The mark of your ignorance is the depth of your belief in injustice and tragedy. What the caterpillar calls the end of the world, the Master calls the butterfly." ~ Richard Bach

Moth and Myth <- My comic! :D
  





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Wed Dec 21, 2005 10:39 pm
-KayJuran- says...



hehe thats funny! XP

and so you know i'm religious but personally not offended at all.
  





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Wed Dec 21, 2005 11:03 pm
Zion says...



LMAO! This is hularious! ::does not stop laughing for 10 minutes::
Without sensibility no object would be given to us, without understanding no object would be thought. Thoughts without content are empty, intuitions without concepts are blind.

Immanuel Kant
"Critique of Pure Reason"
  





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Thu Dec 22, 2005 7:09 am
Crysi says...



Wow. That's great, lol. I wanna print that out and have my pastor read it to us...
Love and Light
  





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Thu Dec 22, 2005 7:16 am
The Silent Aviator says...



Not the funniest thing I've read lately, but still somewhat funny...

I'm a Christian, and that post isn't offensive in any way...it's just the 'gangsta' version of Christ's birth. :)
  





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Thu Dec 22, 2005 7:28 am
Emma says...



Hehe! Funny! I liked it, didn't laugh aloud but still. Funny.
  





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Thu Dec 22, 2005 9:57 am
Firestarter says...



an' Jesus turns water into Stella.


Now that would be impressive.
Nate wrote:And if YWS ever does become a company, Jack will be the President of European Operations. In fact, I'm just going to call him that anyways.
  





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Thu Dec 22, 2005 12:23 pm
thegirlwhofateloves says...



...or vodka...ah....imagine.... :wink:
www.myspace.com/prettytorture
felicitypepper@hotmail.co.uk

Big up the YWS Massive!

....And I still don't know what SPEW is....
  





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Thu Dec 22, 2005 11:09 pm
Galatea says...



I know this is a dialect thing, but I don't really know enough to understand it. Can someone explain to me?
Sing lustily and with a good courage. Beware of singing as if you were half dead, or half asleep; but lift up your voice with strength.
  





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Thu Dec 22, 2005 11:52 pm
QiGuaiGongFu says...



Its the baby jesus story.
there's this girl called Mary, yeah? She's a virgin (wossat then?)

She's not married or nothing, but she's got this boyfriend, Joe, innit? he's a carpenter.
Mary lives with him in nazarith

One day Mary meets Gabriel. She's like `who are you lookin at?'
Gabriel just goes 'You're pregenent.' Mary's totally
wtf? She gives it to him large 'I'm no slut, I'm a virgin'

So Mary goes and sees her cousin Liz, who's six months pregnant herself.
She's drunk off her ass.

She's like 'Orright, Mary, I can feel me bay-bee in me tummy and I
reckon I'm well blessed. Think of all the extra benefits an' that we
are gonna get.' Mary goes 'Yeah, s'pose you're right'

Mary an' Joe ain't got no money so they have to ride a donkey, an' go
down too Bethlehem on the donkey. They get to this inn an' Mary wants to stop,
yeah? To have her baby.

But there ain't no room at the inn, innit? So Mary an' Joe leave an' enter
into this garrage, only it's filled wiv animals. cows an' sheep an' that.

Then these three wizemen turn up, looking proper bling, wiv crowns on
their heads. They're like `Respect, baby Jesus', an' say they're
wise men from the East End.

Joe goes: 'If you're so wise, wotchoo doin' wiv this frankensence an'
myr? Why didn't you just bring gold, Adidas and Burberry?' It's all about
to kick off when Gabriel turns up again an' sez he's got another message
from this Lord old guy.

He's like 'The police is comin an' they're killin all the bay-bees. You
better rush off to Egypt.' Joe goes 'You must be crazy it you think I'm
goin' dahn Egypt on a f*cking donkey'

Gabriel sez 'Suit yerself, pal. But it's your look out if you stay.' So
they go dahn Egypt till they've stopped killin the first-born an' it's
safe an' that.

Then Joe and Mary and Jesus go back to Nazareth, an' Jesus turns water into
wine.
For centuries, theologians have been explaining the unknowable in terms of the-not-worth-knowing.
- HL Mencken
Lie together like butt.
Presenting the GFuture, soon to be the Gnow, reality presented by Google.
Welcome to GEarth.
~Baske in the randomness~
  





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Fri Dec 23, 2005 5:29 pm
thegirlwhofateloves says...



......ok.
It's the Chav Nativity! - I don't know what you'd call a chav in America....uh, trailer trash?....or do I watch to many movies...?! lol
www.myspace.com/prettytorture
felicitypepper@hotmail.co.uk

Big up the YWS Massive!

....And I still don't know what SPEW is....
  





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Fri Dec 23, 2005 9:45 pm
Crysi says...



I'd say Ghetto Nativity, lol. Except it has British slang. *shrugs*
Love and Light
  








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