Young Writers Society

To Whom It May Concern (Crysi, Mesh, Perra, Eloere, Tara):

*sigh* By the time this is posted, I will be well forgotten, maybe for good reasons. I know my promise to be the Ladies’ Man has choked and sputtered with all the new competition… *stares sideways* As if. But never the less, I have been neglecting my true spirit on the boards as someone who laughs, jokes, flirts, and loosens-up. Rather, people know me as mood-ish asshole that perpetuated arguments and conflicts. I have many apologies, this post will contain one for you.

First. I will give you my excuse. The man of the hour, who has had ladies swooning over him, got into a funny predicament. My presence on the original and true board was fading. Frustration and complications wrapped around my very soul. A board so young, young like me at the time, coexisted to inspire and amuse new members. As the board matured and grew, it slowly stopped needing me. So did the members. While I could have continued being an editor, it just takes up a lot of time if you know what I mean. Those of you (if any left) had me look over your pieces, you could tell I spent hours going over it. I guess I should have at least tried more, huh? Well. I loved the flirtatious self that took very little time to make an effect.

Look. One incident occurred awhile back in a very emotional thread, “Self-Harm”. The incident held me responsible for those irregular responses I had. I have two apologies from that situation, what is there more for me to do? I did it publicly and personally. I may continue to be a jerk like you saw on that thread, but come on. If people keep continuing to bring up this past issue, what kind of an effect do you think it has on me? It frustrates and angers me. If you can’t forgive me, then don’t. But should you continue to inform everyone about an issue that you considered so inappropriate that you couldn’t forgive me for? If you truly hate me for those things, then I expect you to pucker your mouth every time you interact with my membership and move on. It may be a permanent black mark on me, so I guess there are no second chances. I am sorry though, truly. I would love to take back those words to get rid of this… mark of mine. I just had a problem with suicidal actions. I was angered at the fact there were ANY reasons for doing actions like these. So I blamed her for it. Stupidly. That is how much I loathe any sort of self-violation. I got into a similar argument on Daniel’s old board. About suicide. It’s a touchy subject okay? Sorry about that.

Currently, people still consider me the most-hated member. How much of me will I be willing to give away to shake you and say, “I am a good person, please believe that.”? I don’t understand. Is it because I don’t know how to function in a relationship or friendship? I know. It’s hard to believe someone with no face. So inevitably, you take what you hear of me, what I have done in the past, what I do now; you stick my words to that image. I’m trying. Seriously though. With all the terrible causes and emotions that fluctuate and spawn, I’d rather not show who I really am right know, not the least a picture. Really hated? Come on. Biggest ego is a lot better, but I’m not known for that anymore. But that is something I’m giving you that is something of me; I look back and see only the true ego I am in the days that whole threads were devoted to just one member (namely me). Those days are gone, because I’m not needed for that source of amusement anymore. I’d much rather want to bring a smile to your face then a frown. Cliché yes, but true to the very last word.

What am I asking? Do I want more attention? Is this another compliment thread of mine where I ask for 6 pages worth of your time? No. But clearly some people are missing my old self, which kind of made me realize who I was being now. I just want people to realize that there is something solid inside my chest, something really there. And that I am sorry for not keeping true to that one piece of me. How many times do you want me to say sorry?

Why am I complaining? It’s just a membership on a board for mother’s sake. Yea, you are right. But so is the seriousness of change in one’s heart. I became attached to people I met on the board. Something grew there, so I took it more serious. Past the clouds of anonymity, there is something in everyone that searches for love and friendship, whether you are in person or not. You come on the boards to express your feelings through writings and poetry, but you also come here to interact with other people of the world. Interact in positive machinery pheromones in which words are your essential tools. With this much reliance on words itself, there is more you that is lost. I think I have completely lost my ‘me’ in your end of the relation. It was my responsibility to remember what I was here to do.

The memories hurt the most… I’m talking of the memories where you saw me. Where I think I made the board overall pretty positive, during the time when one member can influence the whole forum. I’m not asking for this, but if you think about it, everyone had a say that the community dealt with. I just was more accustomed to communicating by these means, which might seem greedy, but I have no other abilities to communicate like the rest of you. Ask the people who I talked with outside of the community; my failures mount the ceiling and beyond.

There is a lack of something here. I thought it was me. *laughs* But I realize that it’s not just me in a family that cares about everyone. But I also think that this family is fading as I am. Not because of me (however I may wish it), but because of… something. I don’t know. But the board doesn’t feel good anymore. I think Brad has touched on this with his departure, but his response was more focused on the irregularities of the people to accept. I myself took part in that. I think my call is more family-oriented with a sense of community behind my words. But I want you to see the familiar traits in both Brad’s post and mine. There is a sense of ourselves; his poetry (maybe even his pics) and my status. Both point to an issue with a collective response that isn’t all quite that positive. Check back when Brad first joined, he wasn’t hated by all like he may be now. There was a gradual change that occurred; I doubt it was totally him.

I felt like… crying reading all the past posts. They had so much more life to them, even without my presence. I saw more members blossom with a scent of honest and truth back then. You could actually see the friendships between people. Look past all my chest-pumping, do you see anything? I did this for laughter, for purity in people’s amusement. I allowed for things to be done that might have been uncomfortable for people if there wasn’t me lashing for acceptance. Not just me. Other members had fun to spread the looseness too! No one is here to judge, just be apart of something.

Oh, and a special thanks to Misty for making me think of who I was missing…

Just for the fun, I'm being apart of the new members by introducing myself once more. Compliments and more compliments will go below. It's great to be apart of such a grand group of writers! I look forward to meeting you all! Later!

-Z

Alex Williams, you are too amazing… This was ingenious! I saved the whole thread so I won’t ever forget.

~Me

I’m going to try and see if I can bring myself to chill with fantastical and shimmering chivalry, one last time:

To the dazzling ladies and aspiring men,

Today is my day to give to you my pocketfuls of smiles and kisses, take them, for they are my gifts to last forever. I will begin my serenading and mannerisms with a list of people that I will impress and thank, personally. It is only my nature to cascade ripples of innocence and teardrops of laughter. To you, I present my gratitude for your spare moments to allow me to flicker luminescence, love and joy.

~For you, I open my arms to the responsible and caring. It is you, Nate, that watched my spontaneous ways pulsate within balance and chaos. My repeated patterns of desperate actions to fulfill widgets of authority and leadership failed time and time again, yet your lenient eyes accepted all my measures to give and take. I am thankful, you are one to better my feeble acts to impress and inspire.

~There comes a time where you just need to say, “uncle”. As hard as it is for me to glance upward to individuals, I think I may be shorter. Jack has a sincere and lonesome era that cradles me like a white lamb; I am ashamed. But more so, I am happy that he stepped up to model true leadership where I lacked. I may have charmed, but he has shown true responsibility. Thank you.

~While I can give, my gifts are of no true meaning compared to some. The official caring and giving member is no one but NightOwl. She is charming and secretive, as new members were able to feel happy whenever she passed out her gifts. An essential piece of community, happiness lives and dies as time passes. She, however, has never ceased to neglect giving out her many smiles.

mas_wink: mas_happy: mas_cool: mas_evil: :dreidel: :menorah: :frosty: :thumb: =D> #-o =P~ :^o [-X [-o< 8-[ [-( :-k ](*,) :whistle: O:) =; :sick: {|= :-$ :-s \:D/ :-# :hearts_eyes: :love: :lots_hearts:

~Intertwined in intimidation and lack of guts, I cannot come to bare and face this man in person. No one puts the B in bold like how Brad does. I am in such awe that amount of direct language could be utilized by any one individual. I naturally struck back to see the frightening presence crumble; if he is as strong as I think he is, no such pitiful attempts could faze him.

~Two people. Two members. I have gone to my limits with them, as I can’t bear to loathe anyone anymore. Their affection on the boards have left me picking up my bags to leave, they are more capable then I could ever be; must that be why I hated them so much. Gal & Qi… I don’t expect very much to been seen in any lighter shade then black, but am willing to hope that both of you forgive my words as an act of pity. Be merciful, and I am yours.

~Perfectionism is a path that leaves the optimum sphere to roll thither and hither, never exceptional beyond doubt. Maybe the closer to perfect I thought I was, young Arvy has met my goals every step of the way. It was I that fell along side of his youth and love; I could woe the ladies, but never could I hold them. You are in essence, materialistically my other half. Be kind to those you wish to know, and you will be irresistible to all damsels of the wide, wide world. Farwell.

~Expressive and energetic. This gal does the wonders. Still young, but enough magic that will take your breath away, she is my crush that I couldn’t surf. Ms. Firebird, the days of my rise and fall, delicately piped her hypnotic tunes to leave me dazed. If I weren’t so bold, I would ask her to watch the sun come up with me. Please forgive my mutinous ways, I was wrong.

~There is a sweetness about that member whenever she comes by, sprinkling her sugar ways in my tea. But with a snap that leaves rosebuds across my forearms, Perra is true lady to die for. A member that excelled in all aspects of contributing, she will more then fight you for a spell or two. I thank you for the all the *chuckles* I had to put in my posts, as you can spark up a discussion with your honey tones.

~Mysterious, but absolutely fun to be around, Tara has drawn a weakness in me. She is that pretty vase that my mother always tells me not to touch, delicate, stunning, and dangerous. She has a heart that throws my rhythm off, making my wondrous self fall apart. There is no reason in the world you should ever get a rose, as that will spoil your pretty dress. Eeewwwww!

~Seductive and severe, I can’t bring myself to correct you anymore. My lovely princess that the Knight of Flowers would take away if he could. Bek, you are one that I will not forget. How can I? It’s not like the SF Giants Organization is going to be bought by some foreigner in Kansas. Even though my batting average was well below .300 I would strike out for you any day, no less rip my trousers swinging. Play the game!

~Remember that Brotherhood you talk about? Remember that friendship we (I) always end breaking? Dude. How many people have you affected in a positive way? People care about you. Dono, I take back my words. I take back my pains and obsolete emotions. No matter where in the world you go, I know people will be happy with you. Mistakes are to be learned from; look where I am of all places. When we meet, we will be chill…

~Maybe someone more like me in my interests. I am at ease with the people that share my love for the Life Sciences; Snoink has a passion, you know what to do with it. Your words are eerily accurate, a well developed talent for crisp data analysis and conclusion. Sorry I kind of dumped that position on you, but I know you will do tons better then if I was running that usergroup. I’m currently researching OX40.Lg and Cytokine Storms to respond to the possible influenza pandemic. Go SPEW!!

~…hey you. Sam, I hope you see my pitiful attempts to apologize over and over again. I would pay my soul to go back in time and fix my mistakes. Well, how about half my soul, so I can drift partially existent, living in the memory of you. But I have to respect what times I am in now, not in the past. You are truly a wonderful gal; don’t let anyone say you aren’t. There aren’t words enough to describe how lucky all the people around you are. Anyways, throw your nose up high for me and go bedazzle the world for me. Atta girl!

~To the rest of all the members, friends, and girlfriends I have neglected to put your names in. You are not forgotten, as you are right here in my heart. I want every one of you to go hug a person for me today. The world could need a bit more caring and love; being apart of a writer’s board, you should too also write lots of compliments about me. Write safely, and be responsible.

The Best of Yours,

Alex S. Williams

Well, that’s about it… You don’t want to know how long this took. If you think that I did this just to kiss @ss, then that’s your choice to believe that. I told you I had some stuff to organize before some changes. I wish you all the best of luck. Oh, and it is I that uses blue smoke to dashingly escape in romantic and passionate ways. *winks*

~Me

Gal & Qi… I don’t expect very much to been seen in any lighter shade then black, but am willing to hope that both of you forgive my words as an act of pity.

I can't forgive what you said. It was unnaceptable then, its unnaceptable now.
I'm certain that you're reading this, whether or not you're signed in, and you don't care. Which is exactly why I wont forgive you.

You don't need pity. No one needs pity. I don't believe you. By now you've probably learned that saying things in a certain way will get the reaction you want out of people. You've demonstrated this knowlege time and time again. So you understand why I can't believe you. You are a sociopath. You know how to manipulate people. This is just another example of you manipulating people. You're no more sincere now than you ever were. It may sound like you are, but your still just toying with puppets. You take your delicious pleasure in getting people to act a certain way, doing no more than speaking. You know how to sound when you want people to listen to you on a sympathetic level, and how to sound when you want people to get pissed off at eachother.

You toy with people in life, and online. How many lies have you told to friends, just to get them angry at another friend? Just to watch the scramble? Who are you toying with now?

You don't need pity. You need help.

Ohhh burn!
Qi IS serious.

Well, then. If you are sincere I am disappointed, but if you are not... I still love you!

Yeah Zelithon is a malicious lil' be-yotch. Most of the time I am evil.

*smacks* Ok, that felt good.

Now. Strangely, i believe you. maybe it's the SoIaF reference.. which AP has prevented me from finishing. And I intend to do so.

and at the rate the Giants are going (honestly, who would trade Snow? Politics aside, claro).. which is highly south, I might add, kansas is sounding better. But then I'd have to move there. Plus, the royals have that monopoly, and Santiago, one of the best catchers I've seen in a long while. And keep your pants on, maky?

and I miss Perra. Haven't seen her in a few months under a year.

QiGuaiGongFu wrote:

Gal & Qi… I don’t expect very much to been seen in any lighter shade then black, but am willing to hope that both of you forgive my words as an act of pity.

I can't forgive what you said. It was unnaceptable then, its unnaceptable now.
I'm certain that you're reading this, whether or not you're signed in, and you don't care. Which is exactly why I wont forgive you.

You don't need pity. No one needs pity. I don't believe you. By now you've probably learned that saying things in a certain way will get the reaction you want out of people. You've demonstrated this knowlege time and time again. So you understand why I can't believe you. You are a sociopath. You know how to manipulate people. This is just another example of you manipulating people. You're no more sincere now than you ever were. It may sound like you are, but your still just toying with puppets. You take your delicious pleasure in getting people to act a certain way, doing no more than speaking. You know how to sound when you want people to listen to you on a sympathetic level, and how to sound when you want people to get pissed off at eachother.

You toy with people in life, and online. How many lies have you told to friends, just to get them angry at another friend? Just to watch the scramble? Who are you toying with now?

You don't need pity. You need help.

Hmmm...

Member most likely to take a ride on ole sparky? ZZAP!

heh, sounds to me that he's destined, assuming he continues down the dark road.

~Expressive and energetic. This gal does the wonders. Still young, but enough magic that will take your breath away, she is my crush that I couldn’t surf. Ms. Firebird, the days of my rise and fall, delicately piped her hypnotic tunes to leave me dazed. If I weren’t so bold, I would ask her to watch the sun come up with me. Please forgive my mutinous ways, I was wrong.

Don't you dare start all that sweet talk again. Not impressed.

You don't need to ask for my forgiveness about anything, you know. Because, believe it or not, you taught me that I'm not the grudge holding monster I always thought I was. I've forgiven you countless times for all sorts of things, one more time can't hurt. Really, I don't hold things against you any more.

We could have been friends. I wouldn't have minded being your friend. But you just got to stop acting at least half the time for people to think they're getting through to you at all. It can be fun to add a splash of drama to things, but there's the minor side affect of people not knowing when you're not acting, and whether you stop acting at all.

I want every one of you to go hug a person for me today

Ok. *hugs Trav*

That's just a friend hug, mind. Don't you start all that again.

I bet you cuold not mess with me or make me angery if you tryed.
unless you went all religous on me

*Zelithon is trying to becomed the most random member instead of Misterwaffles

Good God, can't believe I read all that. I will admit, you did sound truthful at certain parts, but we all know what this was.


At times, you were like a mosquito on my back that I couldn't reach. But at other times, I saw the honesty and goodness behind your bashing. We've had our bad times, we both know from what too. But though they weren't many in number, we did have some good times. You may not have seen my sincerity, but I always saw you as a friend. You shall always be like the... warm gust of air I feel as I walk into shelter from the cold world. Farewell, BS, Alex Williams. Shop smart, shop S-MART.

lol Z, I have nothing against you, and I never really have.

I can't believe you didn't mention me!!! The suspense built with each member that was mentioned!

...Alex, I never hated you. I never could hate you. I feel like a fool for getting tears in my eyes when I read your posts lol, but that's what I get.

You're a good guy... You always were. I think I'm one of the few members who always knew that. We had our good times and our bad, but it all makes up an experience. Don't worry about our bad times. I've forgiven you and even silently thanked you for them, as they helped me improve myself. You really have helped me become who I am today, someone with confidence and spirit.

I miss the old "family" too. But things change, and we just have to go with it. Maybe we can have a sort of reunion someday.

See you in 2007, and talk to you 'til then. Keep your chin up, darling.

I feel so left out.
When will I become part of the old family? I have few memorys.
*sniff

OUR old family started on Daniel's board, which has since been deleted.

Once you start meeting more members and interacting more, you might get a family here. I don't know if it's still possible...

Fare thee well my dear friend....I shall wait for you amongst the stars. When night falls, and they begin their chants and wipsers of grandeur, listen to them. You might hear my own voice amongst the thousands of chours that echo across the galaxy...

For me, you shall always be The Traveler. The one who is always on the road to perfection. Wheter it is sunny or theres a raging storm, you never take your feet away from that road. And you take the nearby people with you aswell. I was EVe and you were the apple. You were the very very first person that reached for me. Yes, I sacrificed some things, but I gained so much more. I shall remember that year till the day I die. Again, fair thee well, and may your path come to a blissful end...

Well, Z, we've been through some interesting times, haven't we? True, we didn't really get along when we first met...but that didn't last for long. You were the first person to welcome me to YWS, and somehow, regardless of your ego and sometimes unruly behavior, you managed to charm me. I guess you could say I fell under your spell. You'd better take good care of yourself, I'm going to miss you.

Crysi wrote:OUR old family started on Daniel's board, which has since been deleted.

Once you start meeting more members and interacting more, you might get a family here. I don't know if it's still possible...

I want a family here! *feels left out*


Oh, and ZZAP, while you did say some f***ed up things to me, and got me angry sometimes, I didn't hold a grudge to you. I forgave you for the things you said, and we moved on. I hope everyone could do the same. Happy trails, my freind, happy trails....