yeah, my friend was online while I was IMing her but she wasn't replying to me, and the result was, well, see for yourself:
(everything below was written by me, except for the nudges, obviously...
mwahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!
You're BORING
fhfs urwht hutirbgfdsiab ibrbv nrfjejsjeuheuuetuooeoiandu eu uuryua ifu ei hjfnkabiuebrbfj aieuehqpoiweruukdotna
I surrender all matters of state to the Prime Minister until my return to the fair Nation of Procrasti
and I have to wonder if you're even listening to me
Right, that's it!
I
AM
GOING
TO
...
...
..
...
....
EAT
SHEEP
if you do not turn up this instant young lady!
Or you'll go to bed without any supper!
And THEN guess who'll be feeling ignored
so yeah
You are banished from my country!
GET OUT
For High Treason!
And incest
just like Anne Boleyn then
would you prefer your head to be chopped off with an axe or a sword
personally I've always preferred to more modern French approach
they really knew how to do mass execution
and so stylish too.
That's it!
You are sentenced to death by
GUILLOTINE!
I can't believe that you're not reading this!
Publishing stuff I'll tell you
Just like my gingerbread houses then
I mean, they should SO be published
THAT'S IT!
I'll publish a cookery book!
and make a fortune!"
I'll be the next Delia Smith!
ooh!
I have found my vocation in life!
It's to chop things up and cook them!
Except, being queen of the Procrasti people
I will have to use the guillotine to chop everything.
I mean, no self respecting queen would do any different after all
Would you, were you in my position
I think not!
No, indeed!
Guillotining is AWESOME
the blood goes everywhere
it's like tomatoes...
mm, tomatoes...
you know there's a festival in Spain where you have to slide around in mushy tomatoes
I mean, what a fun way to spend your time
but not as fun as going to Barbados
back to the palm trees!
yes indeed
it's like my dad's old record player used to say:
Mwahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!
You've gone the full circle!
Now, go back and read everything I've written in your absence!
You have just sent a nudge.
You may not send a nudge that often.
You have just sent a nudge.
COME BACK AND READ MY MESSAGES!
You have just sent a nudge.
You have just sent a nudge.
I'm going to keep nudging you
You have just sent a nudge.
You have just sent a nudge.
You may not send a nudge that often.
You have just sent a nudge.
TALK
You have just sent a nudge.
You have just sent a nudge.
Talk, dammit!
You have just sent a nudge.
I'm BORED
I'm like a baby that has to be constantly cuddled and cooed, I know!
You have just sent a nudge.
It's like back in 1953
when I was naught but knee high to a grasshopper
and my father would spin me round in the air.
and then he would put me down
and give me a gobstopper
which I would put in me mouth and suck on for hours on end
and me daddy would hop back in his aeroplane
and fly away back to his hometown
in France
And me ma would cry
and sob
and weep
and the littl'uns would cry
and sob
and weep
and I would be sucking on my gobstopper
and when I was done
a
I would cry
And sob
and weep
and then
I would be BORED!
You have just sent a nudge.
then all the saints and scholars came back to Ireland
in robes of dazzling white
and I asked them "How do you get your robes so white"
And St. Peter said to me:
"With a washing machine of course!"
And from then on it was clear to me
i would never chew on the furniture
ever again
and that's how Lassie learnt her lesson
Well, that and a guillotine
TALK TO ME!
You have just sent a nudge.
Shall I tell you about the time I met Henry Alberton
'Twas the summer of 1671
and all the flowers were out
the bees were buzzing and the corn was ripe for harvest
and I would wander barefoot through my own fields
accompanied as I was by the usual girls
the painted ground gleamed with different flowers
and there were as many colours as nature has
full many a rose was picked and there are flowers without name
I myself picked slender crocuses and white lilies
and gradually I wandered too far in my eagerness for picking
and as it happened none of the maids followed the mistress
and my uncle [Henry Alberton] saw me
and he carried me into his kingdom on his dark horses
And once there, I told a chap called Ovid my story
he was all "I speak Latin!"-ish
apparently he's turned my story into an epic poem
but it doesn't change the fact that...
I'm
BORED
Talk!
Now!
I command you!
You have just sent a nudge.
You have just sent a nudge.
I give up.
You may not send a nudge that often.
You have just sent a nudge.
You have just sent a nudge.
taaalllkkk
agh
Shops
I'm being all interesting and Mim-ish here and you're just... yagh.
You have just sent a nudge.
bla
You know, you're going to be punished
I'll put you in the secret room under our dining room
Oh, didn't I tell you
Yeah, we bought Malfoy Manor off of the Malfoys
It's coool
Cause now we have a house elf and an evil aunt and everything!
and we're all blonde!
I mean, wow, what a bargain!
You have just sent a nudge.
I know you're there because you keep switching songs
Are you just listening to everything I say and making me mad by not replying
Well, fine then
I'm going to have a lovely party and YOU'RE not invited
No.
You won't even get a slice of cake
Or gingerbread.
No.
No gingerbread for you.
I'll give your portion to Uncle Jim.
And we'll have crumpets and Earl Grey tea
out in the garden
Frightfully good fun!
Mimms writes:

Mimms writes:

My handwriting is simply ghastly, I must say
Wouldn't you adree
Agree
Your ink message could not be delivered to all recipients.
Your ink message could not be delivered to all recipients.
It's like when i tried to make green tea
by dyeing tea green...
Well, it seemed like a good plan at the time
But it just kind of went
splut
like the noise you get when you squash a fly on a Scrabble board
Now we have fly blood on our Scrabble board.
It's so tragic
--
And then she came back.
Does anyone else do stuff like this, or is it just me?
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