Young Writers Society

Ahoy.

I generally have the head of a jackal, but this shouldn't put you off.

When I'm asleep I'm at my most exciting. I am frequently fighting or running away from zombies, in blockbuster action style. Sleep is when I get the most things done. Things frequently happen that are too bizarre and impossible to even write down.

I ran away from university one a one way ticket to South Africa for a short spell where I blacked out and woke up in a stranger's car. It's not my fault a shot of rum worked out as a mere seventeen pence.

When I was 21 I drank twenty one shots in a row and watched, unable to stop people as a) I had all my private hair forcibly removed by duct tape, and b) I had a huge swastika spraypainted in enamel spraypaint on my chest. It took about a week to scratch off.

I have one eye that, at around 4.21am on a monday morning, is a metre wide.

When it comes to films, I like a lot of weird stuff and a lot of dark stuff and gritty stuff, but I also like Disney. People look at me and think my favourite genre must be horror, but only some of the more creative, surreal, imaginative, funny, or plain brilliant and/or screwed up ones (The Shining, Texas Chainsaw Massacre, Poltergeist, Freaks, Eraserhead, Evil Dead II, Seven, Saw, The Silence of the Lambs, Woman in Black and does Pan's Labyrinth count at all? AND SO ON) really take my attention. My real love is action adventure. INDIANA JONES is my hero. Then there is Star Wars and The Lord of the Rings. And here I could list a million more films of various genres but I've seen so many films (I also like gritty westerns, surreal films, stoner comedies, disaster films, thrillers, blockbusters, stupid romcoms and films that melt your mind) that I'd just tire you out.

Enough about films. Musically it's easier to say what I don't like. As I like LOADS of subgenres of rock and metal, as well as country (not pop country), some rap, cheesy pop, industrial dance and classical. Some of my favourites are Marilyn Manson, Rammstein, Those Poor Bastards, Hank III, Eminem, Alice Cooper, Tom Waits, Nick Cave & the Bad Seeds, Slayer, My Dying Bride, Pink Floyd, Motley Crue and Motorhead.

I'm a filth wizard.

I never exercise, except when I rock out. I have a big sweet tooth and I rarely watch what I eat. I can't bring myself to care about the long run. I have sung for many bands and I'm always looking for a new one because they seem to fall apart before we ever get anywhere. Perhaps I'm a curse.

I have a tendency to easily tell people who I barely know intimate sordid details of my life that I can never unsay and they can never unhear. Please don't ask me anything unless you really want to know the answer.

I'm a lovable rogue. Sometimes I'm not entirely truthful if it'd make a better story. I once ate a car in three bites.

When I was five I made friends with an elephant that looked like a duck, and I sat on his back (his name was Tobert) and he carried me along the ocean floor to my destiny, which turned out to be meeting a mole called Moley and he was distinctly unhelpful.

Books. I'm very inspired by Cormac McCarthy and his gritty southern gothic poetic landscapes of words. And his lack of speech marks which I have adopted to some people's dismay. My favourite book ever is The Amber Spyglass by Philip Pullman. My favourite author is MAYBE Terry Pratchett, but that might just be because I own by a very long stretch more books by him than anyone else. Perhaps thirty.

I still haven't made my mind up on Naked Lunch by William Burroughs. I don't know if anyone has.

I was born in a womb made out of sticks and sellotape. I came out to find myself hanging upside down from some kind of floating ship made out of trees and vines, a veritable jungle.

I write terrible, terrible things, but I like to think I write them reasonably well.

I think the whole word could be less moral.

I love animals. I have never slept with an animal. Except cats, but it was consensual.

It is true I killed my brother Osiris, but he really deserved it as he ate biscuits really loudly and that's just not on.

My biggest worry is that I won't make it as a writer, ever, because I'm never given a chance. I'll probably do all kind of sexual favours and surrender every last ounce of my integrity if you promise me you'll get me published. Or give me a slice of cake. I love cake.

Girls are frequently jealous of my hair (it's much longer than in my picture and as naturally sleek as a newborn mountain stream). I have been known to eat leaves. I treat cups and plates as though they have feelings. I vary frequently between thinking I'm absolutely awesome and bound to succeed and I'm absolutely rubbish and pathetic and nothing is worth doing in life. That can be hard to live with. Especially for me.

Society gets me down, hence why I'm far more active in my dreams.

My name is Set, and I'm mortifyingly pleased to meet you. Not everything I have told you is true but too much of it is.

I have a tendency to get carried away when I write.

Hahah, I see what you did there. x)

Hi Set! Welcome officially to the YWS! I have a fascination with Egyptian mythology, so I adore your name. I've been tempted lately to change my name to Chaos...

Nice to meet you, haha. I can tell you like to write!

Thank you, nice to meet you too!

Hey Set! Welcome!

Cool to have some older dudes here. And yeah, your hair is awesome! Especially on Halloween.

I'll read through Moral Zero soon, it seems pretty interesting. And since you already have it finished, I could follow it to the end.

As for Naked Lunch, I haven't read it, but I did see the film. Very confusing

Oh, so that's what the Set in SetSytes means. and you are indeed a filth wizard, but you pull it off cleanly .

Haha Well Set is what people actually call me IRL, and Set Sytes is my writing alias and stage name. Though I like to think Set is also from the egyptian god

Birkhoff, I hope you enjoy it! As for Naked Lunch, the book is about 8386292X as confusing as the film, which is more based on the writing of Naked Lunch rather than Naked Lunch itself. There is no following the book, not for anyone, ever. It's not even really a novel, just a sentence-by-sentence nightmare.