Well, it was good: I didn't see any obvious typos, glaring grammatical errors or such; the story flowed smoothly and the tone was, while somewhat apathetic, quite appropriate for the story. I like how you left it sort of open-ended, and people will want more to the story than just this; however, I think it's good enough without a sequel. Very well-thought-out work.
Wow! I read this a few days ago but it's still in my head and I really want to see the next chapter. Is this going to be a chapter piece or a one off? Pleaseeee write something else
Everything has been figured out, except how to live.
Thanks everybody, lol. At the moment, I don't think I'm writing any more of this... Maybe it'll pop up in a novel someday, but at the moment I'm happy with where I've ended it and I've got more than enough to work on. Still, thanks for all your interest, everybody. ^^ I think this is one of my favorite short stories that I've written.
"Pay Attention. Pay Close Attention to everything, everything you see. Notice what no one else notices, and you'll know what no one else knows. What you get is what you get. What you do with what you get is more the point. -- Loris Harrow, City of Ember (Movie)
Well first off I loved how it was in first person. Secondly it was completely smooth, which i loved. I just finished reading another sci-fi on YWS and it went so quickly that I had a hard time reading it but this is amazing. I absolutely loved it. Not to fast, enough time to establish the character and who she was. I was wee but confused about the "grand-daughter" thing so I had to re-read it. It made it sound like the girl was talking about someone else and not herself. That's the only thing i would change. Other than that, well done.
Gender:
Points: 3699
Reviews: 86