Young Writers Society

I tried to do something a little difficult with the pose and everything, so I think there are a lot of techical flaws, but oh well. Not perfect, but this is using my new drawing program so I'm still getting used to it.

Please review and point out any mistakes you see x)



b&w version



lineart

Hey TheBlackSheep,

Wow! This is really stunning. I didn't expect to see something so well drawn and vivid when I decided to look at this topic -- but it was a really nice surprise!

The first picture -- I just love this so much. You drew the shapes of their bodies almost perfectly and their expressions are lovely. The colours are so vivid and fit perfectly. I was really amazed!

I have to admit that the colour one was my favourite. Though I love all of them -- the last one is really beautifully simplistic compared to the other two. In the first one, the colour really completes the picture. It's such a lovely picture and I honestly keep going back to look at it.

I think you've done really well with the pose. If I was to really nitpick, I'd say that I think his hands look a little dodgy where they're holding the girl. They look almost -- inside out. You've got the actual shape of their bodies just about perfect, but I think that the way he is holding her could definitely be worked on to make it a little more realistic.

My other nitpick would be with their noses -- they seem almost a little too sharp. I think the shape could be rounded just a little.

Overall, though, I really do love this! They're such lovely pictures.

Keep drawing (and posting! I'd love to see more),

~MorningMist~

Thank you so much! I'm really glad you commented. I will keep working hard on hand positions and gestures. And you had good advice about the nose too. I will practice on those to make them look a little more natural.

Thanks again ^_^

Hey Sheep

This is a really good picture, in all three versions. You've got the shading done nicely in both non-lineart ones, and the lineart itself is awesome too. The flowing hair and scarf look great, and both people are nicely in proportion.

In terms of the pose, this is a good, natural pose, but it looks a little off. I think that the way you could improve this would be to think about people as being squishier. For example, where the guy is holding the girl, she looks a bit like she's made of wood or something, and isn't squishing in at all in response to the force where his hands are. I think a small change to places where forces are being exerted on the people would be all that's needed to make this absolutely perfect.

Happy drawing!

Hello.

I liked seeing the different versions of this image. It makes for a nice study of every stage, and opens up details that might be missed in other versions.

My first comment on here is the shading. It seems rather inconsistent, especially on the lower half of the image. Both her boots are the same colour and there's no shading where her knee is resting on his hip, despite the light seeming to come from the front (and maybe from above one of them).

It's actually really hard to pick a light source for this image. Her stomach is the lightest part of the image, while his stomach is the darkest, with his back being the lightest. Also, their jeans are the same tones throughout; it's hard to decide if their jeans are faded, or if there's light and shadow on them. You even have the lightest part of her jeans right above where his wrist presses in on her hip, which I'd think would create a dark patch on both sides (just one being smaller, because the light would shine on it).

Really consider where the light is coming from, and how snow could (minorly) reflect back light. Right now, there are so many light sources it's reading as a flat image.

When it comes to the linework/construction, I noticed a few things. The first one is how her hair is pretty evenly windswept, except for a small place behind her neck. This seems to have cut off her shirt, as well, because technically her shoulder should be there but it's just a blank expanse. I'd look at that spot closer to see if anything could be added, either in her shirt or shoulder. Looking closer, I think part of her neck is also missing.

Her little finger seems a bit added on. There's no room for her knuckle, currently (instead, there's an indent there and the line of her ring finger cutting a bit too far down to give the illusion her hand is bent funny) and the finger itself is a bit bowed. I also find her hands a bit big, but I could be biased because of small hands.

Finally, there's a lock of the guy's hair between her first finger and thumb that almost reads as part of his blush, or a scar. It's too thin for any colour to show, and it seems a bit long to be hair. I'd shorten it a lot or cut it completely to have it read as more natural.

Overall, I really had to nit-pick for this. The pose is cute, and I mostly like it. I say "mostly" because of the little flaws outlined above. But it took awhile to find them.

Nice work. PM me if you have any questions or comments.

~Rosey

Cadi wrote:Hey Sheep

This is a really good picture, in all three versions. You've got the shading done nicely in both non-lineart ones, and the lineart itself is awesome too. The flowing hair and scarf look great, and both people are nicely in proportion.

In terms of the pose, this is a good, natural pose, but it looks a little off. I think that the way you could improve this would be to think about people as being squishier. For example, where the guy is holding the girl, she looks a bit like she's made of wood or something, and isn't squishing in at all in response to the force where his hands are. I think a small change to places where forces are being exerted on the people would be all that's needed to make this absolutely perfect.

Happy drawing!

This is great advice, thanks I could've added a few more fold to the clothes wherever they were being 'squished' together and that would've made it seem more real. I definitely see what you're saying.

Thanks for the review!! Glad you liked it